Follow Friday: @DanGuterman

Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist. 

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)

Dan Guterman is one of those people that write funny things and show other people what they wrote. His work has appeared in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s and The Onion, where he was the head writer. Currently, Guterman is a part of The Colbert Report writing staff and is on drugs.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/220275104003788800”]

He is a procrastinator.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/283641009206861824”]

But can get really motivated.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/222868131876569088”]

Dan is incredibly self-centered.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/237434612635283456”]

And impatient.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/260917935655235584”]

And intolerant of your help.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/228275755782643712”]

Even though he didn’t have the best education.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/281600323842371585”]

Not even close to the best.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/250082435193245696”]

He did learn some history.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/262324802012995585”]

And economics.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/274743899409481728”]

But not how to read a map.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/259101289382809600”]

Nor did he acquire the vast vocabulary of the eskimos.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/222588623541899265”]

Dan barely leaves his house.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/248222634733613056”]

After a weird trip to Utah.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/235232895986462720”]

And a taxing Ikea experience.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/241683791352045568”]

He’s always on his phone.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/259545292846796800”]

He does not respect the Deceptive Arts.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/246430697429037056”]

But dammit if he doesn’t respect Cool Runnings.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/danguterman/status/248220971184562176”]

Follow Friday: @DanGuterman