Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.
(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)
Emily Donahue (@seriouslyemily) claims on her twitter bio that “when i dip you dip we dip”, thus fulfilling Freak Nasty’s prophecy. When she is not doing what mid nineties hip hop music tells her to do, Emily is usually reading.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/251119150792065024”]
She has a specific taste in men.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/20246889953763328”]
And is specific in what she lets them do.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/208649626956476416”]
Emily’s car insurance is probably expensive.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/33366541873451008”]
Which might be why she can’t afford health insurance.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/217632079079407616”]
Christmas isn’t always fun for her.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/18070734534352896”]
Maybe next time she should talk to someone else.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/277239106344464384”]
Donahue’s laptop sounds fun.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/108247101179297792”]
Emily is magic.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/237559166909153280”]
She isn’t afraid to talk about America’s more shameful moments.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/15328655731”]
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/250048665006272513”]
Emily knows that if you say to someone that you think you should go “on a break” and then the handsy girl from the Xerox place is all over you, it is okay to sleep with her.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/261924945465049088”]
She can see into a woman’s past.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/228756356826550272”]
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/246019949561266176”]
She likes to play it cool.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/91680692223746048”]
Donahue is “The Fixer.”
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/201915103250092033”]
She yields to nobody.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/93793181577121793”]
Never ask her if milk was a bad choice.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/289450417220366338”]
She believes that Mary J. Blige was, in fact, was the drama instigator.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/61939217198104577”]
Consult her before consuming your comfort snacks.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/seriouslyemily/status/147451423729270785”]
