50 shades of cray

Watch the Awkward Introductions of the Newest Cast of The Bachelor

Last night rang in a seventeenth season of The Bachelor, and with it we learned a whole host of embarrassing new ways that contestants on a reality dating show introduce themselves. A mere sampling: confessing that the other man in your life is Christian Grey, the lead character of Fifty Shades of Grey; promising (out of the blue) that you’re not contagious; comparing your love life to your closet organization skills; purring; and making fake campaign posters featuring yourself and bachelor Sean Lowe — you’re just begging for attack ads! Need more examples? See our roundup of every one of last night’s contestants whittled down to one shining moment apiece.

New Bachelor Contestants in One Sentence Each