The Critics’ Choice Movie Awards were held last night, and Judd Apatow was honored with the “Louis XIII Genius Award,” which is sponsored by the cognac brand Louis XIII and not the famed French king. It’s an absurdly-lofty name for this particular award, but there are a hell of a lot people who are fewer qualified for it than Apatow. Pitch Perfect and Bridesmaids star Rebel Wilson presented Apatow with the statue, introducing him by reading the following speech off a piece of paper:
Critics’ Choice Louis the XIII Genius Award speech, written by Judd Apatow. But don’t say it’s written by Judd …. OK. Maybe I wrote this. World cinema would not be what it is today without the God-like genius that is Judd Apatow. Hold for standing ovation…. Oh no, please sit. We all recognize Judd’s unparalleled contribution to comedy. If the greatest comedian of all-time, Charlie Chaplin, was alive today, even he would say [mimes Chaplin moves, kind of]. Then at this point the fat girl should shut up and show the clip.
Apatow took to the stage after Rebel Wilson gave him the award, doing a bit where he pointed out everybody he beat out for the prize, saying, “Spielberg, you did not win tonight. Tommy Lee Jones, you lost. Tom Hooper, stop sulking. Ang Lee, you have another year… Is Daniel Day-Lewis here? There he is. I beat you too.” All award acceptance speeches from now on should just consist of the winner pointing out the people they beat.