Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.
(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment. Shape up, Google Reader.)
Eli Terry (@EliTerry) is a UCB writer that probably suffers from halitosis.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/233733588489744385”]
His wife wont let him sleep in the same bed as a result.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/286649886533906432”]
When they get into a fight, Eli disappears.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/278723772381528064”]
He is also hard to find after he embarrasses himself.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/265605180396027904”]
There is the possibility that he is avoiding pet eagles.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/281463945712259072”]
Terry prefers the company of frogs.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/296670959153332224”]
He sports some ink.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/232914766002282496”]
According to Eli, babies might think Skrillex is mocking them.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/298984168367468545”]
Terry knows the rules to Cryball.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/233050377405214720”]
It is unknown if there was ever a Parent Trap inspired game of Cryball.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/298250298496016385”]
Eli is not an erotic fiction writer.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/248454384286044160”]
But he can do almost anything else.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/223986086974722048”]
Don’t mess with him.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/192808508960419840”]
Because he is your boss.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/256132897940045824”]
Terry is an ass man.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/171443511965663232”]
Who ruined The Godfather.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/295037323383549953”]
But he’s still cool.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/176037097071841281”]
Eli died.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/262949746929434628”]
He is rubber.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/296347654454124544”]
But don’t call him rubber.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/EliTerry/status/256898580101595137”]
