spring break y'all

James Franco Is Gonna Milk His ‘Shorts’ Speech for All It’s Worth

You know the speech; it’s the Gatsby-meets–Riff Raff Spring Breakers monologue that Vulture insisted you memorize a few days ago. “I got … I got SHORTS. Every fuckin’ color. I got designer T-shirts. I got gold bullets.” An entire nation (or at least the $270,000-worth of people who saw Spring Breakers) has been yelling it at full volume for the past week. So it makes sense that James Franco would trot Alien back out for an Alamo Drafthouse anti-texting PSA — “Hot dogs, hamburgers, the royale with cheese … ” — and the result, below, is obviously very charming. (The Spider-Man bit is also great.) Having said that, would it be ungrateful to request some restraint with these parodies in the next few months? It is too easy to imagine Franco at next year’s Oscars, Hudgens-eyed as he delivers his 27th occasion-specific “shorts” rant. (“I got bow ties. Louboutins. Look at my stuff.”) This is a special speech, is all we’re saying. Let’s protect its magic. For America.

James Franco Is Gonna Milk His ‘Shorts’ Speech