March 25, 2013

Ryan Gosling Has a Secret Passion — Carrying Things

Photo: Splash News

“I’ve been [acting] too much,” Ryan Gosling told the AP last week. “I’ve lost perspective on what I’m doing. I think it’s good for me to take a break and reassess why I’m doing it and how I’m doing it.” Sure, maybe Ryan, who stars in this upcoming weekend’s The Place Beyond the Pines, needs some time off to fine-tune his craft. Or maybe he’s taking a break to pursue his true passion, which is carrying things. Dry cleaning, coffee, artisanal cheese — if it needs to get from point A to point B, Ryan Gosling will carry it there in his manly hands. No messenger bags allowed. This is the Professional Carrying League.

Is he also carrying that necklace? In a sense, aren't we all carrying that necklace?

Books don't belong in a backpack. Books belong in your hand, out in the world, where everyone can see that you are reading them.

You might think those are fancy suits in there, but perhaps Ryan Gosling gets his scruffy undershirts and hoodies altered so they slouch just so.

Hey, girl, get a bigger rag. You are filthy.

Join Ryan next semester in Advanced Carrying: How to Hold a Drink, Takeout, and Your Girlfriend's Hand All at the Same Time.

Ryan Gosling is also available for weddings, as your flower girl.

That looks like takeout food and a bakery treat, perhaps. Ryan Gosling, treat procurer.

There's a possibility that is dog poop. Unfortunate. But at least he is a conscientious pet owner.

Who is prettier: Ryan or this exotic bird?

Still reading. Reading and Carrying: The Ryan Gosling Story.

Book clubs need cheese! And Ryan Gosling maybe needs a new pair of boots.

You might think carrying a child is better than carrying cheese, but have you ever tried to put a child on a cracker?

More treats! Bring us some treats, Ryan Gosling.

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Ryan Gosling Has a Secret Passion — Carrying Things

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