[Minor spoiler alert for those who haven’t yet seen the season 6 premiere.] On tonight’s Mad Men, Roger’s mother’s funeral was strangely dry. Well, right up until Don showed up — bleary-eyed and with drink already in hand. “Mother did not approve of libations,” Roger mentions in his opening remarks, and after he hands the stage over to Mrs. Hazel Tinsley (“who graciously flew up from Palm Beach”). It doesn’t take long to for Don to steal the spotlight with some gastrointestinal grieving in the corner. It’s not the first time we’ve seen the men of Mad Men’s drinking habits go from classy to trashy: Roger’s epic oyster-filled barf from season one stands to challenge Don’s gagging tribute. Which one of the SCDP partners makes you never want to drink again?
First, a Don refresher course. Vomiting does not trump etiquette: He politely turns away from the crowd while depositing his liquid lunch by the umbrella stand. And you gotta give it to him: He never spills his drink.
And then there’s Roger. If you recall, his impressive vomit from season one’s “Red in the Face” is all thanks to Don, whose revenge for Roger hitting on Betty reveals itself to be a martini-fueled lunch that turns into (whoops!) a broken elevator and 23-floor walk-up. Those two elements, a room full of clients and a spotless carpet make for the perfect spew.
So who spit it best? While Don’s might be fresh (ew, sorry) in your mind, we still have to go with Roger. His sick has the most magnificent length, texture, and beauty. Save this one to your hard drive.