Let’s Not Forget What Reese Witherspoon Did With Mark Wahlberg on a Roller Coaster in Fear

Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon each have a movie out this week (Pain & Gain and Mud, respectively). And Witherspoon got arrested over the weekend. What better time, then, to revisit Fear, the 1996 thriller in which Witherspoon plays a good girl with bad judgment (Nicole), and Wahlberg plays the raving lunatic she falls for (David). Let’s do this.

Remember when Mark Wahlberg kissed with way too much tongue and said gross, sweet-talky things about Nicole’s virginity being something to “admire and respect”?
Other gem lines from the film include “You know every part of you tastes so good,” “Tell me you want me,” and, to Nicole’s dad, “I know you aren’t keeping up your end of the bargain, so to speak, with the missus. Because if you were, she wouldn’t be all over my stick.” Also, remember how he sounded when he said these things? The accent has mellowed since then.

Remember when Mark Wahlberg fingered Reese Witherspoon on a roller coaster?
You know you remember this! The Sundays’ version of “Wild Horses” was playing; Reese was really riding his hand. And she appears to get off in about 30 seconds. Which, no.

Remember Alyssa Milano’s belly shirts?
She played Nicole’s best friend Margo.

Remember this guy?
We were supposed to believe he was having sex with Margo. (Also, remember when they smoked crack together? Or was it crystal meth? Not sure; not a drug expert.)

Remember when Mark Wahlberg punched his chest over and over again to make it look like Nicole’s dad gave him bruises?
This is how you salute Mark Wahlberg if you ever get to meet him.

Remember when Mark Wahlberg left this note on the dad’s red convertible?
That’s some cheesy nineties handwriting and one uncalled for apostrophe! Also, here’s where I mention that I saw this movie with my dad and brother in the theater when I was 13. I confirmed with my brother via text last night. Me: “Do you remember seeing Fear with Daddy?” Him: “Yes!!!!!! I totally do. Remember being bashful when Reese got fingered on the coaster? Lol.”

Remember when Mark Wahlberg gave himself this tattoo with a knife and some pen ink?
“4Eva” is what you say to Mark Wahlberg when you’re giving him the chest salute.

Remember when Mark Wahlberg yelled into a peephole?
Peepholes are scary. Looking into peepholes is like that moment you’re done washing your face at the bathroom sink and you don’t want to lift your head up because you might see a stranger in the mirror.

Remember when Margo yelled “You’re my only friend”?
This is what police officers should say to Reese Witherspoon next time she asks if they know who she is.

Remember when the dog got decapitated?
There were human deaths in the movie, too. But Kaiser was such a good boy.

Let’s Not Forget What Reese Did in Fear