14 Weird, Wacky Movies on Sale at Cannes
At the Cannes Film Festival, the most glamorous stars in the world ascend a red-carpeted staircase to view triumphant artistic achievements in the Grand Lumiere, the gigantic theater ensconced in the Palais des Festivals. A few floors underneath them, however, the basement of the Palais is taken up by the sprawling Marche du Film, where the movies touted tend to star Tara Reid instead of Carey Mulligan. It’s a mix of high and low culture that’s both whiplash-inducing and glorious, and Vulture has collected some of the most unique Marche du Film advertisements that the fest has to offer. So what is Cannes, according to these one sheets? Cannes is …
... where Kellan Lutz is unaware that they've canceled Spartacus.
... where bitches can go for helpful instructions.
... where every poster is of the utmost taste.
... where Tilda Swinton looks like the frumpiest person ever to destroy the Death Star. (Of course, since this is Tilda Swinton we're talking about, s...
... where Tilda Swinton looks like the frumpiest person ever to destroy the Death Star. (Of course, since this is Tilda Swinton we're talking about, she's able to make even frumpiness look fierce.)
... where magic is made, pure and simple. (We cannot argue with that tagline, at all.)
... where psychotic 7-year-olds have a real future in marketing.
... WHERE EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT THRILLERS ARE MADE!!!!
... where Marley & Me appears to have generated a sinister (yet still adorable!) sequel.
... where Santa Claus puns are everywhere.
See?
... where Bram Stoker should call his lawyer.
... where Bambi's hooded killer will finally be brought to justice.
... where your working title somehow makes it onto the poster.
... where ... too soon, guys.