June 20, 2013

Brad Pitt: 25 Years of Red-Carpet Looks

By Margaret Lyons

Photo: Kevin Mazur Archive 1

It’s hard to remember a time when Brad Pitt wasn’t famous. It seems like his chiseled visage has always been a part of the hunk spectrum! Those blue eyes, those pouty lips, that ever-changing hairstyle — there’s a Brad Pitt for every era. Let’s look back at his red-carpet appearances since he first broke onto the scene in the eighties and marvel at some of the bafflingly hideous fashion choices he’s made along the way. Bring your own vests and sunglasses, friends.

When this photo was taken, Dallas's Shalane McCall was the famous one.

When this photo was taken, Dallas's Shalane McCall was the famous one.

We're in for so many more hair/glasses/facial hair combos.

We're in for so many more hair/glasses/facial hair combos.

With Christina Applegate and the same leather jacket.

With Christina Applegate and the same leather jacket.

With scream queen Jill Schoelen and some serious bad-idea hats.

With scream queen Jill Schoelen and some serious bad-idea hats.

Is that a Blossom hat — pre-Blossom?

Is that a Blossom hat — pre-Blossom?

With Juliette Lewis at the premiere of Thelma & Louise.

With Juliette Lewis at the premiere of Thelma & Louise.

And again at the Oscars the following year. Theory: This is the most 1992 photo ever.

And again at the Oscars the following year. Theory: This is the most 1992 photo ever.

Long hair, full beard, no glasses. Man, Brad Pitt wore some voluminous clothes.

Long hair, full beard, no glasses. Man, Brad Pitt wore some voluminous clothes.

Longer hair, less beard, more mom jeans.

Longer hair, less beard, more mom jeans.

Message to Brad Pitt from 2013: GET A SMALLER JACKET. THANKS.

Message to Brad Pitt from 2013: GET A SMALLER JACKET. THANKS.

At the Independent Spirit Awards, a vesty occasion if ever there were.

At the Independent Spirit Awards, a vesty occasion if ever there were.

Shoulder-length hair, no glasses, just weird under-chin beard.

Shoulder-length hair, no glasses, just weird under-chin beard.

Bleached hair, oddly pointy beard, and another ill-fitting shirt.

Bleached hair, oddly pointy beard, and another ill-fitting shirt.

Oh no, the too-big tops disease is contagious.

Oh no, the too-big tops disease is contagious.

The Se7en-era short hair begins.

The Se7en-era short hair begins.

Sigh.

Sigh.

Even Gwyneth fell prey to the super-sleeves.

Even Gwyneth fell prey to the super-sleeves.

Brad Pitt was really into these sunglasses.

Brad Pitt was really into these sunglasses.

Really, really.

Really, really.

He even got a pair for GP.

He even got a pair for GP.

If you were that good-looking, you'd want to date your twin, too.

If you were that good-looking, you'd want to date your twin, too.

Now Pitt has segued into his big-open-collar phase.

Now Pitt has segued into his big-open-collar phase.

Short mussy hair, tiny scraggly chin beard.

Short mussy hair, tiny scraggly chin beard.

Slightly more beard, a lot more collar.

Slightly more beard, a lot more collar.

Oh, sigh again.

Oh, sigh again.

The man likes distinctive eyewear.

The man likes distinctive eyewear.

Enough weird chin hair, Brad Pitt!

Enough weird chin hair, Brad Pitt!

What an innocent time for all of us.

What an innocent time for all of us.

Back to short hair! For both Brad and Jen.

Back to short hair! For both Brad and Jen.

These are not wax figures, these are actual humans.

These are not wax figures, these are actual humans.

Again with the glasses.

Again with the glasses.

Those are not even good-looking glasses! Come on.

Those are not even good-looking glasses! Come on.

Upgrade on the glasses, downgrade on the beard.

Upgrade on the glasses, downgrade on the beard.

So much beard.

So much beard.

Can you flatiron a beard?

Can you flatiron a beard?

Back to those effin' sunglasses!

Back to those effin' sunglasses!

Just a normal orange leather zip-up shirt, like everyone has.

Just a normal orange leather zip-up shirt, like everyone has.

Back at the Independent Spirit Awards.

Back at the Independent Spirit Awards.

FINALLY. Dress and groom yourself like this at all times, Brad Pitt.

FINALLY. Dress and groom yourself like this at all times, Brad Pitt.

Or this.

Or this.

This is not bad, either.

This is not bad, either.

Also excellent! A streak!

Also excellent! A streak!

Streak over. That is a weird coat.

Streak over. That is a weird coat.

At least he's not wearing those sunglasses.

At least he's not wearing those sunglasses.

No comment.

No comment.

Just a month after Mr. & Mrs. Smith came out.

Just a month after Mr. & Mrs. Smith came out.

Better!

Better!

No shame in sticking with what works.

No shame in sticking with what works.

Hmm. Something is off about this.

Hmm. Something is off about this.

This is how movie stars should look.

This is how movie stars should look.

Controversial but true: Brad Pitt looks better as a non-blond.

Controversial but true: Brad Pitt looks better as a non-blond.

We are so jubilant and beautiful!

We are so jubilant and beautiful!

More sunglasses.

More sunglasses.

Good Lord.

Good Lord.

WTF?!

WTF?!

That is some perfectly imperfect hair toussling.

That is some perfectly imperfect hair toussling.

This is actually a different gray three-piece suit.

This is actually a different gray three-piece suit.

That hat is not your friend.

That hat is not your friend.

Neither is that haircut.

Neither is that haircut.

Help him, Angelina.

Help him, Angelina.

Millennia from now, when alien civilizations discover our artifacts, they will assume these people were our gods. I am fine with that.

Millennia from now, when alien civilizations discover our artifacts, they will assume these people were our gods. I am fine with that.

Scarf-y!

Scarf-y!

Spoke to soon. That's scarf-y.

Spoke to soon. That's scarf-y.

When in doubt, always go for a classic look.

When in doubt, always go for a classic look.

Even when not in doubt! Classics are always the right choice.

Even when not in doubt! Classics are always the right choice.

Somehow even the mustache works.

Somehow even the mustache works.

Though this facial hair is better.

Though this facial hair is better.

More scarves!

More scarves!

More perfect tuxes!

More perfect tuxes!

More sunglasses!

More sunglasses!

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

I get that you have to grow your hair and your beard in certain ways for certain roles. But that knit hat is 100 percent Pitt's choice, and it's 100 percent wrong.

I get that you have to grow your hair and your beard in certain ways for certain roles. But that knit hat is 100 percent Pitt's choice, and it's 100 percent wrong.

Whew, thank God.

Whew, thank God.

Scarves and sunglasses! (And is that an angora sweaterdress?)

Scarves and sunglasses! (And is that an angora sweaterdress?)

Intrigue!

Intrigue!

Why the affection for gradient lenses?

Why the affection for gradient lenses?

Not that these glasses are much better.

Not that these glasses are much better.

Good God, man.

Good God, man.

Return of the longer hair! Stay-turn of the gradient glasses.

Return of the longer hair! Stay-turn of the gradient glasses.

Retire those glasses, friend.

Retire those glasses, friend.

Another three-piece suit.

Another three-piece suit.

And another. And finally some respectable eyewear.

And another. And finally some respectable eyewear.

You are so pretty, Brad Pitt.

You are so pretty, Brad Pitt.

Even with a cane.

Even with a cane.

Do those lenses have to be tinted?

Do those lenses have to be tinted?

Remember?

Remember?

You're a global superstar. Someone will hem your pants for you.

You're a global superstar. Someone will hem your pants for you.

And wash your hair for you too.

And wash your hair for you too.

He's holding sunglasses. That still counts.

He's holding sunglasses. That still counts.

That's some long hair for a 49-year-old.

That's some long hair for a 49-year-old.

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