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a song of face and fire
June 18, 2013

Game of Thrones: The Many Bitchfaces of Cersei Lannister

By Margaret Lyons

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Photo: HBO

Game of Thrones won’t be back for a pretty long time. You could read the books in the meantime, or play around with any of the sundry affiliated materials, or maybe make your own little Stark family dolls and act out your favorite parts of the story. Whatever you do to fill the gap, remember this: Cersei Lannister is watching, and she isn’t happy. In fact, she’s pretty much never happy. How could she be? Westeros is a terrible place to live, just about everyone she knows is a manipulative shitbag at least sometimes, and her big dark secret — that she’s in an incestuous relationship with her twin brother — isn’t really much of a secret at all. We’d have a bitchface, too. Let’s look back at some great moments in Cersei Lannister’s glorious history of hate faces.

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1 / 18 Photos
Cersei's most potent weapon is her faux sympathy. She's the queen of the Seven Kingdoms, but the real way she puts you down (especially if you're a Stark) is with ostentatious, phony concern. Cersei's most potent weapon is her faux sympathy. She's the queen of the Seven Kingdoms, but the real way she puts you down (especially if you're a Stark) is with ostentatious, phony concern.

Cersei's most potent weapon is her faux sympathy. She's the queen of the Seven Kingdoms, but the real way she puts you down (especially if you're a St...

Cersei's most potent weapon is her faux sympathy. She's the queen of the Seven Kingdoms, but the real way she puts you down (especially if you're a Stark) is with ostentatious, phony concern.

Her other signature move: the head tilt. Like a dog in a cartoon, folks. Her other signature move: the head tilt. Like a dog in a cartoon, folks.

Her other signature move: the head tilt. Like a dog in a cartoon, folks.

Maybe Cersei and Ned never saw eye to eye figuratively because they never saw eye to eye literally, because of Cersei's constant head tilting. Maybe Cersei and Ned never saw eye to eye figuratively because they never saw eye to eye literally, because of Cersei's constant head tilting.

Maybe Cersei and Ned never saw eye to eye figuratively because they never saw eye to eye literally, because of Cersei's constant head tilting.

This is what a modern gossip blog might call "side eye." This is what a modern gossip blog might call "side eye."

This is what a modern gossip blog might call "side eye."

Ambi-tilter! Here Littlefinger is getting the patented Cersei treatment. Ambi-tilter! Here Littlefinger is getting the patented Cersei treatment.

Ambi-tilter! Here Littlefinger is getting the patented Cersei treatment.

Where did Joffrey learn his petulant stare? He learned it from watching you, mom. Where did Joffrey learn his petulant stare? He learned it from watching you, mom.

Where did Joffrey learn his petulant stare? He learned it from watching you, mom.

Poor Sansa. Always getting glared at. Poor Sansa. Always getting glared at.

Poor Sansa. Always getting glared at.

Here's the one-two punch of head-tilt and tainted sympathy, directed at Sansa. Here's the one-two punch of head-tilt and tainted sympathy, directed at Sansa.

Here's the one-two punch of head-tilt and tainted sympathy, directed at Sansa.

 

L'chaim! L'chaim!

L'chaim!

If you keep tilting like that, it's going to freeze that way. If you keep tilting like that, it's going to freeze that way.

If you keep tilting like that, it's going to freeze that way.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Just kidding, Cersei can beat anyone, thanks in part to the wonderful properties of wine. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Just kidding, Cersei can beat anyone, thanks in part to the wonderful properties of wine.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Just kidding, Cersei can beat anyone, thanks in part to the wonderful properties of wine.

This is Cersei's marriage-arranging face. Watch out, Margaery. This is Cersei's marriage-arranging face. Watch out, Margaery.

This is Cersei's marriage-arranging face. Watch out, Margaery.

These two just get each other. These two just get each other.

These two just get each other.

Don't be fooled by Cersei's frequent slight smile. She is not slightly amused! She's planning something, and it's probably not something amusing. Don't be fooled by Cersei's frequent slight smile. She is not slightly amused! She's planning something, and it's probably not something amusing.

Don't be fooled by Cersei's frequent slight smile. She is not slightly amused! She's planning something, and it's probably not something amusing.

Looks like politically relevant arranged marriages aren't just for the kiddos. Looks like politically relevant arranged marriages aren't just for the kiddos.

Looks like politically relevant arranged marriages aren't just for the kiddos.

They say men marry their mothers. Based on these two A+ facial expressions, apparently that's true sometimes in Westeros, too. They say men marry their mothers. Based on these two A+ facial expressions, apparently that's true sometimes in Westeros, too.

They say men marry their mothers. Based on these two A+ facial expressions, apparently that's true sometimes in Westeros, too.

Keep it together, Cersei! Poker face! (Assuming there's a GoT version of poker.) Keep it together, Cersei! Poker face! (Assuming there's a GoT version of poker.)

Keep it together, Cersei! Poker face! (Assuming there's a GoT version of poker.)

Cersei Lannister: Over it. Cersei Lannister: Over it.

Cersei Lannister: Over it.

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