Oh boy: Kiernan Shipka has signed on to Lifetime’s adaptation of Flowers in the Attic, more familiarly known as “the incest book.” Shipka will play Cathy, the oldest sister, who — are you sitting down? — falls in love and eventually has sex with her older brother. (To be fair, they are locked away by their mean mom and grandmother.) So no, it does not get better for Sally Draper. Free Sally!