On Wednesday, Harper Collins and the Agatha Christie estate announced the upcoming release of a brand-new Hercule Poirot novel — the first in almost 40 years. No matter that Agatha Christie died in 1976, or that her famous Belgian detective died a few months before that. They’ve hired a new writer and freed Poirot from his cryogenic tank on the Riviera. (More likely, they’re writing twenties-era Poirot mysteries, like he never even died, but that is less fun.) To celebrate Poirot’s resurrection, here are some suggestions for a modern-day Poirot novel. (Jean Dujardin will play Poirot in all movie adaptations.)
Death at the Altar
Sabrina and Clark want to keep their wedding small — so they’ve invited their closest family and friends to a remote island for a weekend of festivities. But sometime between the pig roast and the rehearsal dinner slideshow, Ian is found strangled to death by his own tuxedo bow tie. Was it Sabrina’s younger sister, Maya, who has pined for Clark since childhood? Or could it be Clark’s boss, a stockbroker who wants to keep his shady practices a secret? Almost everyone on the island could be a suspect! So Sabrina’s godfather, Hercule Poirot, puts his frontal lobe (formerly known as the little gray cells) to work …
What Happens on Spring Break
Hercule Poirot is enjoying a peaceful spring break in Daytona when a young women in the room next to him is found dead. What appears to be a drug overdose is quickly revealed as … murder. Poirot befriends a local detective named Langley and becomes a talking head for cable news. (He is not allowed on Fox, because he speaks too much French.) Poirot and Langley must travel all over Florida, interviewing its most bizarre criminals in search of their murderer.
The OMG Murders
An ever-curious and brand-conscious Hercule Poirot joins Twitter, but he does not expect that one of his followers will be … a murderer. User “dexter492” tweets the date and location of his murder to Poirot, but Poirot does not know how to use replies, so he alerts the authorities too late. Then Poirot and his faithful friend Langley design an app to catch the killer.
Mystery at Coachella
A famous performer named Drake never shows up to his set. Poirot, the world’s No. 1 Drake fan (“it is interesting to me what you say about these emotions”), has traveled all the way to the desert for Coachella, and he becomes the lead detective on the case. Chris Brown, 40, and at least five Drake ex-girlfriends are suspects; most of the novel takes place at a fancy Palm Springs hotel, since even Modern Poirot does not camp. (Don’t worry, Drake doesn’t actually die. He faked his death because he was nervous.)
Murder on the Hyperloop
It only takes 30 minutes to travel from Los Angeles to San Francisco, but death can happen in an instant. When Jackson the reality-TV sound mixer is found slumped against the pod window, everyone on the Hyperloop is implicated. But fear not! Hercule Poirot, who is on his way to wine country, can solve the case before the train arrives in San Fran. (This one is a Kindle Single, because it’s short.)