A lot of Twitter users take to the platform to test out their latest jokes and quips, but certain people truly excel at making us laugh with the available characters and constraints. With the Internet being such a big place, it can be difficult to find the comedians most worthy of your RTs and favs. Each Friday we feature one person whose consistent short-form online humor deserves your attention and to be on your Twitter feed.
(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, you might want to come on over to the website so you can see the tweets.)
Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) performs at UCB in New York, releases music mashups under the pseudonym Chambaland, and co-created the podcast Left-Handed Radio (available on our very own Splitsider Podcast Network). In addition to his regular tweeting, Chamberlain got some press last fall for a twitter account he’d made for respected journalist Cokie Roberts, and also he’s pretty good at retweeting.
On a ridiculous tear of “social media is false and empty!” in early 2012, I actually deleted my Twitter, only pulling my head out of my ass and admitting that the platform was really quite fun after I pulled off that @CokieRoberts prank last fall. Also, I don’t have a smartphone, but I can text for free (and TWEET FOR FREE) from my raisin-box burner phone, so writing jokes is often my only option for entertainment when I’m on the train.
HAPPY FRIDAY, #GOPDOG! ▔▔╲╱▔▔▔╲┊┊╭━━━━━ ╮┈╱▕╰╯╰╯━╮┃guns don’t ┃┈▏┊▏┈┈▕▇┃┃kill people, ┃┈╲╱┈╰┳┳┳╯┃abortions do. ┻╮╮╰━╮╰━╯╮╰┓┏━━ ┻╯╰┻┻╯┻┻╯╰━┻╯— Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 23, 2013
“#GOPDOG is a single panel comic I began earlier this year. He is a very good boy and a registered member of the Republican party.”
THE HOT LIST, WEEK OF 9/8: ———————————- IN: deferring JUST MISSED IT: doing OUT: dreaming — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) September 8, 2013
“I do a new Hot List every Sunday; really just a take off on Entertainment Weekly’s Shaw Report. I wish more people would do recurring features in their feed.”
ok so its called “Big Girls Don’t Spy!” and its about babysitters who accidentally get ahold of launch codes or something, get off my back— Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) September 6, 2013
“Twitter teaches us all to be a little less precious with all of our million dollar ideas.”
THE TWiTTER ALPHABET™: @ bb c? ☽ € FF g2g # ! jk lol ␙ n ° :p ⚥ RT $ ✞ u ▼ wtf ☠ y ⚡ — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) September 4, 2013
“Don’t have a joke ready? Then just draw something strange! There are 110,117 unicode characters at your disposal, so the ᙡ◎ᖇᒪᕍ’ᔕ Ꭹᗝ⋒ᖇ ᗢᎩᔕ♈ᙓᖇ.”
Summer ‘01 was a simpler time, all baseball and swimming’ holes and masturbating to the Helena Bonham Carter monkey from Planet of the Apes.— Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) February 21, 2013
“Plus you can exude abject filth because nobody’s parents are on Twitter.”
There’s plenty more to admire about Dan’s Twitter. For instance, he’s never afraid to get #dark.
there’s an amazing new dance sweeping the nation and it’s about accepting loss — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) June 14, 2013
such a great old coffee maker I have! Can’t wait to point out a similar one at some future yard sale and have my teen call me retarded — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 13, 2013
boston market? now there’s a bm I don’t mind eating with my hands — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 6, 2013
But he knows how to keep things upbeat and poppy!
♫ Do you ever feel / like a plastic bag / full of sandwiches / so many sandwiches ♫ — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) June 6, 2013
♬ If you wanna be my lover / you gotta get with my friends / no no not like that no / please don’t fuck my friends ♬ — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) May 14, 2013
now I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she has a big bushy beard and is always screaming “GOLD! GOLD! HOO HOO BOYS, MY SHIP’S COME IN!” — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 9, 2013
Plus, Dan knows what makes a good party.
then Glen showed up with his famous Glenchiladas and saved the party! — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 22, 2013
He’s pretty good at wordplay.
I mean I’ve heard of Mike Tyson, but a tyke that’s my son!? — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 29, 2013
invented a big dirty sandwich named “Thin Feels” b/c nothing tastes as good — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 21, 2013
Especially when it means celebrity name mash-ups.
zooey davechappelle — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) July 6, 2013
Nora “Zac” Ephron — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 29, 2013
But Dan knows his limits as far as the audience goes.
you can’t tell puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) July 3, 2013
He’s also got the right tweets for the holidays.
and a VERY Happy Mother’s Day to the baddest mother of them all, Shaft. — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) May 12, 2013
Finally, some of Dan’s tweets are pretty downright artful.
PRINT THIS TWEET + PRESENT TO CASHIER FOR ONE FREE SM. SODA █║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌║▌║█║▌│█ █║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌║▌║█║▌│█ █║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌║▌║█║▌│█ EXP 7/27/13 — Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) June 27, 2013
╱╱↙╱╱↙╱↙╱╱╱↙╱↙ ╱↙╱╱↙↙╱↙╱╱↙╱╱↙ ↙↙╱╱↙╱╱↙╱╱↙╱↙╱ ╱╱↙╱╱↙╱╱↙↙╱╱↙╱ ╱ oh rain. ╱↙╱↙╱╱↙↙ ↙↙╱↙╱ ༼•_•༽ ↙╱↙╱╱— Dan Chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 13, 2013