The Vampire Diaries
This show is crazy. Just when you think you know what’s coming — bam! In comes another doppelganger. Like, everyone has the same face now. Seriously, everyone. Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley have taken over the CW. I have so many questions. Like, what are travelers? And why would Amara want to die when she just got out of her dust coma? And what is Augustine? And, most important: How does Nina Dobrev’s skin look so good on so little sleep?
I’m confused, but I’m also excited. I think this influx of faces means we’re going to get to explore what I’ve been wanting forever — the question of what love is. How much of it is choice? How much of it is based on physicality? Giant, fascinating themes. Bring it, TVD.
Oh, also: In the greatest twist of the evening, Katherine lost a tooth.
To the debate!
Stefan Doesn’t Remember How He Got Involved in All of This
“Even though we’ve lost almost everything — our hope is not lost.” This line from the opening made me wonder: Really? And what exactly are they hoping for, here? They don’t seem to be happy with any outcomes. Stefan has it the best of any of them (he doesn’t know what the F is going on) and they’re even trying to fix that. Minus 3.
Ha! Silas coming in and opening those windows was great. “Good morning, frenemies!” This guy is such a dick. Plus 5.
Super creepy that Tessa was watching Stefan sleep. Although shouldn’t he be used to that by now? Remember when Elena used to do it all the time? Oh, right. He can’t remember anything. Minus 3 for us, then.
“I think I still need to be drunk to understand this story.” I feel so validated. That has been my strategy for years. Plus 10.
Did Elena really come by just to make sure Stefan wasn’t sleeping with Tessa? How does that even register on her list of priorities? Isn’t she about to resurrect her best friend? Plus 6 for Stefan, though.
Stefan was doing a super-crappy job of comforting Elena when her brain was exploding. To be fair, though, he doesn’t know her. Minus 4.
What was Stefan doing? Seriously. He was just sitting on the couch with Tessa looking at a cookbook? Who is this dude even? Minus 20. Hating Amnesiac Stefan a lot. Also, it was really upsetting to see how betrayed Elena looked. They have been through a lot. It was sad she was the only one who remembered.
Psych! Stefan is awesome. He told Elena he would take care of her. Plus 20. This moment really reminded me of the time in season one when Elena goes to meet her birth mother at the Grill and Elena whispered “I love you” to Stefan so only he could hear, and then he mouthed it back to her from across the room. What? It was a good episode.
“You’re still you.” — Elena. I actually don’t think this is true, but it’s sweet that Elena thinks Stefan hasn’t changed all that much even though he is missing his brain. Did she have to say all of this in front of her boyfriend, by the way? Minus 3.
Stefan got his memories back! Honestly it’s a toss up whether to add or subtract points for this one, so we’re just going to call it even.
Damon Is a Quick Boy. He’ll Figure It Out.
Damon and Elena lying by the fire was cute. “I like our life when it’s like this.” Our life. Aw. Plus 8.
Damon’s insistence that Elena was just trying to have a good day was really sweet. I was with him. Can’t she just get an hour? Can we? Plus 9.
“The supernatural world is bound by an object in Snookie’s backyard?” Ha. Plus 5.
“She’s a freaky carbon copy of my one true love.” Thank you, Silas, for finally saying what we have all been thinking since Day One. It is weird that Damon and Stefan were both in love with Katherine before Elena, and yes I do have trouble buying that it’s not a big deal that they have the same face. This goes in Damon’s category because he heard it. And for that — Plus 50.
Want to know something that is going to be very polarizing? I’m kind of digging Damon and Elena right now. They’re so normal. I love that destiny is not their jam because you know what? Destiny is kinda lame. There, I said it. People being together because they are meant to be is just not all that interesting. Story needs conflict and reasoning. Plus 20.
“It’s called being secure. I’m assuming you know a little bit about that by the way you wear your hair.” Nailed it. Plus 6.
Damon’s clear devastation at having to kill Silas and hence not bring Bonnie back for Elena was pretty moving. I also liked when Elena said, “But you told my boyfriend, who has never put anyone’s life before mine.” It’s super annoying, to all of us, I think, that everyone constantly has to die or stay dead for Elena — but love, you know? Plus 20.
Damon’s face when he saw Amara was awesome. Like oh, cool, another Nina Dobrev. This is just what I needed. Plus 5.
How have they not addressed that Katherine can get fat now? Wouldn’t that piss her off more than anything? Minus 10.
“But you’re kinda evil. No offense.”— Elena. She has always been nice to mass murderers. Cough
Return of Hunter Jeremy! Plus 12.
This traveler story line … sorry, where were we?
Oh, right, Katherine! Dying her hair! Making friends with Caroline! Plus 12.
I still really don’t understand these car commercials, but I like them. #fiestafun Plus 2.
I have been thinking since Katherine turned human that her killing someone feels different now. It feels like murder. It’s not because of the fact that we’re learning she has a moral compass — although I love that. It’s because she’s human. I feel kind of bad about this, actually, because who cares if a vampire or a human kills you: You’re still dead. But I’m wondering if this has crossed anyone else’s mind? Does the bad stuff she does seem to have more weight now? I’ll bring the cookies to group therapy at three — please don’t leave me hanging.
Jeremy’s promise of lip sex was awesome. Especially the part when it was followed up by a puppy-dog exit. Love that kid. Plus 10.
Katherine pretending to be Elena was just about the best moment I have ever experienced with this show. The dress, the eating, the hair clip. I especially loved when she met New Love Interest. Into him. Plus 8.
Random question: Do you guys think our vamps miss the Originals? Like, are we just not seeing the scenes where Damon goes, “You really don’t know what you have until it’s gone, man.” No points but I think we know the answer.
This Silas and Amara stuff is some serious Romeo-and-Juliet business. Their moment together reminded me a lot of early seasons Stelena — minus the shard of glass. Plus 15. I dug it.
OMG, Jeremy is underage. Minus 50. Hold up — they all are. This is insane.
Bonnie stayed dead. CLIFFHANGER. Minus 2.
Damon won this round. He had some great zingers.
See you all back here next week for the return of Stefan’s memories! Can’t wait to see how THAT goes.
As always, I’m here: @RebeccaASerle