burning questions

Everything We’re Still Wondering After Last Night’s Scandal

SCANDAL - “A Door Marked Exit” - Now that the truth is out there, things will never be the same and everyone will have to face the consequences of their actions, on ABC’s “Scandal,” THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Danny Feld) KERRY WASHINGTON, JOE MORTON, TONY GOLDWYN Photo: Danny Feld/ABC

Last night’s Scandal found our ragtag group embroiled in international espionage, covering up a murder, in bed with the enemy, and in secret basements at the Pentagon quoting Porgy and Bess. Business as usual. The show won’t be back until February, alas, but until then we have some lingering questions, both specific and general. Hurry back soon, Scandal.

Wouldn’t a funeral director have to pick up Daniel Douglas Langston’s body, and wouldn’t that person — or whoever was embalming or cremating him, or whatever funereal practices the Langstons participate in — notice the stab wounds?
Are we to assume that Cyrus, perhaps with the help of Charlie and Quinn, just paid these people off or something? Seems like there’s a lot of potential for disaster here.

Where are Quinn’s allegiances?
Consider me pro-Charliquinn, because any romance is good romance in the Scandal universe of bleak murder, constant deception, and widespread malice. But I’m not sure if we’re supposed to believe that Quinn is really into Charlie, or if we’re just supposed to think that she is playing him. Is she still trying to prove herself to Huck somehow? Huck claimed she wasn’t a Gladiator anymore, but is that really his decision? (Couldn’t Olivia give, uh, papal dispensation?) Or does she really have to pick, since former Gladiator Jake is now Charlie’s boss anyway, putting OPA literally in bed with B6-13?

Has anyone on Scandal ever had a healthy romantic relationship? And does that spell doom for Abby and David Rosen?
Obviously Scandal would lose a little something if suddenly everyone became mentally stable and concerned for their own well-being. But the relentlessness with which intimate partners torture one another on this show makes me nervous for the future of the seemingly okay Abby and David. The two already have so much baggage, and everything else on the series can fall under the banner “romantic love gets you nowhere; abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” No one sets out to be Cyrus and James, but things happen.

Speaking of Cy and James, why would James want to be press secretary?
Are we supposed to think he actually, legitimately wants that job? We all worship at the altar of CJ Cregg, but James doesn’t seem like the flack type. James wants a job at the White House either to get more information about Cyrus and his schemes, to punish Cyrus somehow — or maybe, even subconsciously, because he wants to forge a new bond between them. If he just wanted a high-profile job, James could get one. (Or he could make Cyrus get him one.) But he wants a White House job, a job defending the administration his husband masterminds. Cyrus has almost had James killed, he’s pimped him out for publicity stunts, and has literally pimped him out to the now-dead Daniel Douglas Langston. And James just asked for a job defending him.

Who is Mama Pope going to kill first? And how does she already know about burner phones?
She’s been in a terrifying maximum security lockdown for 22 years, but she’s already savvy enough to chuck her phone? How much access to outside information has she had while she was imprisoned? (Has no one seen Shawshank Redemption? Surely she would have some trouble adjusting to being on the “outside.”) But let’s even grant that because she’s a super-criminal, she is adept at adapting to new situations. Is Eli Pope her first target? If so, knowing what we know about how bad he is, are the Gladiators — or anyone from B6-13 — going to do anything to prevent that?

And for whom does she work?
Who picked her up in Mongolia and took her back to the U.S.? Somebody scary, probably!

If Mama Pope is so evil, why didn’t Papa Pope just kill her?
Love? Is the answer love? Either love for his wife, or a love for his daughter? Maybe, though that seems a little soft for a guy who’s an avid torturer. (We know what Huck is capable of — and Eli’s the guy who turned him into that.) But maybe the answer is that whoever Maya works for said they’d hurt Olivia unless Eli kept her alive. Just a theory!

What the hell is going on with Harrison?
Harrison has no stories. Sorry, Harrison.

Everything We’re Still Wondering About Scandal