Over the weekend, author J.K. Rowling admitted that she regrets pairing off Hermione and Ron in Harry Potter. No kidding, J.K. — many of us have regretted that choice for years. Ron’s such a dope, and Hermione’s so precise; Rowling even says that the two would need “relationship counseling.” As long as she’s airing regrets, there are a few more items for J.K. to reconsider. It’s not too late!
1. Luna and Hermione should have hooked up at least once.
The combination of high-stress situations, a British boarding school, constant impending doom, and a feeling of deep allegiance would have led to a lot more shenanigans among the members of Dumbledore’s Army. And if the opposites-attract argument works for Ron and Hermione, it works even better for Luna and Hermione. No shame in experimenting!
2. We should know what happened to Lee Jordan.
I know, I know — he becomes Magnitude on Community. But what is he doing in the wizarding world?
3. Everyone should have dated more.
I’m not saying you can’t be happy with your high school sweetheart. But there’s more to other schools than Viktor Krum and Fleur Delacour. Could people eventually reconnect and decide, “Hey, let’s move back to our hometown and raise kids”? Sure, that happens. But for someone as famous as Harry or as driven as Hermione, there’s got to be some sewing of wild oats.
4. There should have been a war-crimes trial for Death Eaters.
While the politics of the Potter world are pretty clear, sometimes the criminal justice system and military justice systems are kind of vague. Aurors operate as intelligence officers and are hired straight out of high school, even though one assumes they might need more training; Wizengamot, the wizarding court, seems awfully corrupt and does not include lawyers. If order and peace are meant to be restored to the wizarding and muggle worlds alike, part of that has to be a criminal justice system that prioritizes fairness and dignity. And imprisoning former Death Eaters or anyone else who fought on Voldemort’s side without a fair trial is shameful and dangerous. It doesn’t have to be a Nuremberg-like military trial, either. Kingsley Shacklebolt, the Minister of Magic, could take a restorative-justice approach and establish reconciliation committees.
5. She should have named a head master for epilogue-era Hogwarts.
Some among us believe Harry should have become the head master of his beloved alma mater, rather than a paper-pushing auror. Others believe he was not wise enough to fill Dumbledore and McGonagall’s shoes. Could Hermione, the brilliant and determined, inspire the young wizards and witches of today? If we know that Neville Longbottom is the professor of herbology, why can’t we know who his boss is?
