The chiseled jaw, the sweaty desperation, the theatrical rage: It’s been a long time since we read a casting rumor as perfect as Ben Stiller potentially joining Alan Ball’s male stripper drama I Am Chippendales. In a plot that sounds equal parts Showgirls and … more Showgirls, Chippendales follows the rise of nightclub co-founders Paul Snider and Steve Banerjee as they strike gold with their male exotic dance review. Stiller would play Chippendales choreographer Nick De Noia, whom Banerjee allegedly targeted in a murder-for-hire plot in 1987. The whole thing makes Magic Mike sound like a bunch of gyrating, oiled-up child’s play that of course no child should ever be permitted to see.
LAS VEGAS, NV - APRIL 18: Actor Ben Stiller arrives at a Twentieth Century Fox presentation to promote the upcoming film “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” at Caesars Palace during CinemaCon, the official convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners, on April 18, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images) Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images