All of the Cameos in Sharknado 2: The Second One

There were so many overtly stupid things you could call out from last night’s Sharknado sequel, Sharnado 2: The Second One. But youv’e got to hand it to the creators for making a somewhat-watchable parody sequel to a film that was a parody in the first place — ooh, levels! One of the ways Sharknado 2 stayed decent was by constantly surprising you with a stream of cameos. From Airplane!’s Robert Hays to Subway’s Jared Fogel, Sharknado ran the lowbrow gamut. Here’s who we caught (and whether or not they lived):

Kelly Osbourne
Status: She knew it was coming.

Robert Hays from Airplane! …

And Rachel True from The Craft

Status: Both dead.

Star Trek: The Next Generation child star Wil Wheaton
Status: R.I.P.

Comedian and famous Twitterer Kelly Oxford
Yes. She died.

Andy Dick
Alive and incompetent.

The Naked Cowboy
Not in the movie long enough to die, but who knows, really.

Al Roker and Matt Lauer
Got lots of screentime; somehow survived.

Salt-N-Pepa’s Sandy “Pepa” Denton
Killed while riding a Citi Bike! Weirdly NYC-specific death.

The Weather Channel’s Stephanie Abrams
Recommends you stay indoors while she stays alive.

“Scream Queen” Tiffany Shepis
Status: Duh, she dies.

30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander
Status: At least he didn’t have to wear that trucker hat this time? Dead.

Taxi’s Judd Hirsch

Status: Couldn’t do a simple rope swing over a bunch of sharks. Dead.

Subway’s Jared Fogel
Survived with his good health intact. You can’t kill the sponsor.

The Howard Stern Show’s Benjy Bronk

Biz Markie
Lives and is very helpful.

Downtown Julie Brown
She’s a nurse, so she lives.

“Doctor” Billy Ray Cyrus
Couldn’t save Tara Reid’s hand because it was stuck somewhere in a shark’s mouth, but some how manages to stay alive.

Daymond John from Shark Tank

Status: Turned back to grab a briefcase of money (ha! Get it?) and perished.

Perez Hilton
You can’t not kill Perez Hilton. Even he knows that.

Richard Kind

Status: Does not die, but does do this:

Stand-up comedian Robert Klein
As the mayor of NYC, he must live.

Pro wrestler Kurt Angle
Lives! And doesn’t even have to fight anyone.

Live With Kelly & Michael co-hosts Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan
He fights a shark; she stabs one with her stiletto. They live.

Live With Kelly & Michael producer Michael Gelman

Status: Oh, no.

Did I miss anyone? Let me know in the comments. But you’ll have to GIF them yourself, because there’s no way I’m watching this thing ever again.

All of the Cameos in Sharknado 2: The Second One