In an awards show I personally had no idea existed, Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Sports Awards, Nickelodeon showed off its new golden slime. David Beckham and his two children, Romeo and Cruz, had the honor of receiving the gold slime atop their esteemed heads. And you thought all slime was green, you peasant. Do you think Kanye would’ve had the gold slime at his wedding if he knew it existed? What do you think the gold slime is made out of? One time, at the now-defunct Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, I tasted some slime, and it was actually vanilla pudding. Now you know!