28 Simpsons Quotes Every Fan Must Know
1 of 28
Back to the Intro

28 Quotes Every Simpsons Fan Must Know

1 of 28

Mr. Bergstrom's note: "You are Lisa Simpson." ("Lisa's Substitute")

2 of 28

Kent Brockman: “And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.” (“Deep Space Homer”)

3 of 28

Itchy and Scratchy Land employee: “No, my son is also named Bort.” (“Itchy and Scratchy Land”)

4 of 28

Bart, Marge, and Homer: “You don't win friends with salad!” (“Lisa the Vegetarian”)

5 of 28

Homer: “No TV and no beer makes Homer something something.” (“Treehouse of Horror V”)

6 of 28

Homer: “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.” (“Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment”)

7 of 28

Krusty: “Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down.” ("Grade School Confidential")

8 of 28

Homer: “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try.” (“Burns’ Heir”)

9 of 28

Milhouse: "Everything's comin' up Milhouse!" ("Mom and Pop Art")

10 of 28

Homer: “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.” (“Treehouse of Horror VII”)

11 of 28

Edna: “'Embiggens'? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield.” Ms. Hoover: “I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word.” ("Lisa the Iconoclast")

12 of 28

Moleman: “I was saying ‘Boo-urns.'” (“A Star Was Burns”)

13 of 28

Chief Wiggum: "Bake 'em away, toys." ("Cape Feare")

14 of 28

Ralph: They taste like burning. (“Das Bus”)

15 of 28

Lawyer: "What about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say 'Die Bart Die'?" Sideshow Bob: "No, that's German for 'The Bart The.'" Parole Board Woman: "No one who speaks German could be an evil man." (“Cape Feare”)

16 of 28

Homer: "I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean S-M-A-R-T." ("Homer Goes to College")

17 of 28

Ralph: “Me fail English? That's unpossible!” (“Lisa on Ice”)

18 of 28

Homer: “Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow.” (“Mr. Plow”)

19 of 28

Lunchlady Doris: “More testicles mean more iron.” (“Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song”)

20 of 28

Homer: "Moe, I need your advice." Moe: "Yeah." Homer: "See, I got this friend named ... Joey Joe-Joe ... Junior ... Shabadoo." Moe: "That's the worst name I ever heard." Barney: "Hey, Joey Joe-Joe!" (“The Last Temptation of Homer”)

21 of 28

Moleman: “No one’s gay for moleman.” (“Future-Drama”)

22 of 28

Gun Salesman: "Sorry, the law requires a five-day waiting period. We've got to run a background check." Homer: "Five days? But I'm mad now."

23 of 28

"Australian man: "Alright, alright, you win. Heh. I see you've played knifey-spooney before." ("Bart vs. Australia")

24 of 28

Barney: "And I say England's greatest prime minister was Lord Palmerston!" Wade Boggs: "Pitt the Elder!" ("Homer at the Bat")

25 of 28

Rainier Wolfcastle: “My eyes, the goggles do nothing!” (“Radioactive Man”)

26 of 28

Milhouse: “Remember Alf?  He's back ... in Pog form!” (“Bart Sells His Soul”)

27 of 28

Mr. Burns: “It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times …” (Last Exit to Springfield)

28 of 28

Homer: "Save me, Jebus!"

SPONSORED MESSAGE