28 Simpsons Quotes Every Fan Must Know
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28 Quotes Every Simpsons Fan Must Know

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Mr. Bergstrom's note: "You are Lisa Simpson." ("Lisa's Substitute")

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Kent Brockman: “And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.” (“Deep Space Homer”)

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Itchy and Scratchy Land employee: “No, my son is also named Bort.” (“Itchy and Scratchy Land”)

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Bart, Marge, and Homer: “You don't win friends with salad!” (“Lisa the Vegetarian”)

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Homer: “No TV and no beer makes Homer something something.” (“Treehouse of Horror V”)

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Homer: “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.” (“Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment”)

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Krusty: “Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down.” ("Grade School Confidential")

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Homer: “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try.” (“Burns’ Heir”)

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Milhouse: "Everything's comin' up Milhouse!" ("Mom and Pop Art")

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Homer: “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.” (“Treehouse of Horror VII”)

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Edna: “'Embiggens'? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield.” Ms. Hoover: “I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word.” ("Lisa the Iconoclast")

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Moleman: “I was saying ‘Boo-urns.'” (“A Star Was Burns”)

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Chief Wiggum: "Bake 'em away, toys." ("Cape Feare")

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Ralph: They taste like burning. (“Das Bus”)

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Lawyer: "What about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say 'Die Bart Die'?" Sideshow Bob: "No, that's German for 'The Bart The.'" Parole Board Woman: "No one who speaks German could be an evil man." (“Cape Feare”)

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Homer: "I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean S-M-A-R-T." ("Homer Goes to College")

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Ralph: “Me fail English? That's unpossible!” (“Lisa on Ice”)

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Homer: “Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow.” (“Mr. Plow”)

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Lunchlady Doris: “More testicles mean more iron.” (“Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song”)

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Homer: "Moe, I need your advice." Moe: "Yeah." Homer: "See, I got this friend named ... Joey Joe-Joe ... Junior ... Shabadoo." Moe: "That's the worst name I ever heard." Barney: "Hey, Joey Joe-Joe!" (“The Last Temptation of Homer”)

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Moleman: “No one’s gay for moleman.” (“Future-Drama”)

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Gun Salesman: "Sorry, the law requires a five-day waiting period. We've got to run a background check." Homer: "Five days? But I'm mad now."

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"Australian man: "Alright, alright, you win. Heh. I see you've played knifey-spooney before." ("Bart vs. Australia")

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Barney: "And I say England's greatest prime minister was Lord Palmerston!" Wade Boggs: "Pitt the Elder!" ("Homer at the Bat")

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Rainier Wolfcastle: “My eyes, the goggles do nothing!” (“Radioactive Man”)

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Milhouse: “Remember Alf?  He's back ... in Pog form!” (“Bart Sells His Soul”)

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Mr. Burns: “It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times …” (Last Exit to Springfield)

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Homer: "Save me, Jebus!"