vulture experiments

If You Took Away Their Bathrooms, Which Friends Character Would Pee on the Floor First?

When we saw Ian Roach’s re-creation of the cast of Friends in The Sims 4our imaginations ran wild. Friends ended in 2004, but it left us with so many questions: Which Friend can survive the longest without food? Or a bathroom? If you locked them along together in their apartment, how long would it take Joey and Chandler to fall in love? We had Roach run a few simulations and now you’ll never have to wonder again.

Experiment No. 1: The One Where They Have to Hold It In
We asked Roach: If you lock the six Friends together in Monica and Rachel’s apartment and block their access to the bathroom, which character would be the first to pee on the floor? (Apparently, Sims don’t poop.) This is what happened.

Around the four-hour mark, they all get pretty uncomfortable.

Who’s the first to let it go? In classic Ross style: Ross.

And with Ross having broken the seal, the five others feel free to release in unison. That is apparently what friends are for.

Someone (Monica?) should have really put some newspaper down.

Speaking of Monica, guess who has to clean it all up?

Experiment No. 2: The One Where They All Starve to Death
Which Friend can live the longest without food? Let’s find out.

Day 1: We locked all six Friends in one apartment and deleted their fridge.

All is well until the hunger pangs start to set in …

Day 2: Stuck inside, no one has enough energy to get to the mailbox to pay the bills. So the power company shuts off their electricity.

Day 3: Cold and starving, Ross is the first to go (again).

Within minutes, the rest of the gang starts to fall …

Our winner? Rachel.

Experiment No. 3: The One Where They All Love Rachel
We asked Roach: What if all three male Friends were in love with Rachel? Would she still pick Ross?

Our answer: She would, but she would also choose Chandler and Joey, too. (Turns out that Sims Rachel is kind of a floozy.) It’s cool! Ross is handling it all very well.

But Joey isn’t.

Experiment No. 4: The One Where Joey and Chandler Fall in Love
Say Chandler and Joey were locked in their apartment alone together — how long would it take them to hook up?

Day 1: We lock them in.

All is well until they have to go to work and can’t find the door …

What else is there to do but accept fate and settle in.

Day 2: The sexual tension is palpable.

And personal boundaries start to fade.

Day 3: Joey finally makes the first move.

And becomes increasingly more forward …

Day 4: Joey goes in for the kill.

Day 5: They’ll never leave the apartment again.

(But when they do, the rest of the Friends are baffled.)

Experiment No. 5: The One Where Ugly Naked Guy Visits
Ugly Naked Guy, the Friends’ nudist neighbor, was seldom seen on-camera. What would happen if he spent some quality time with the main cast?

So far, so good. There’s a dance party!

Ugly Naked Guy even cooks the gang dinner.

At first, Monica is a little hesitant …

… but she soon starts to warm up to him.

Turns out that Ugly Naked Guy isn’t really a one-girl kinda guy. He soon sets his sights on Phoebe.


Monica’s the jealous type.

Gloves off, who wins the fight? Phoebe.

Having won the fight, Phoebe wins her man.

Experiment No. 6: The One Where They Grow Old and Have Kids
What would Emma look like all grown up? What if she got a little brother? And what would Chandler and Monica’s children look like?

Ross and Rachel:

The Bings:

And you guessed it: Everyone’s still friends.

The Great Friends Sims Experiment