This weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live was Halloween-themed, but it failed to address the scariest thing of all: children. Fortunately, Mike O’Brien is here to take on those mini terrors. Though no longer an official cast member, O’Brien has been making shorts for the show, like the hilarious “Whites” from the Sarah Silverman episode. This week, his “Kids” was cut despite being both so, so funny and so, so creepy. The whole thing is a morality play of sorts, or maybe it’s an immorality play. Either way, the message is clear: Don’t trust kids, they’re selfish jerks who get in the way of your desire to be a selfish jerk for a little while longer.