No one watched the first live broadcast of the Hollywood Awards on CBS last night. So it’s a good thing the event was recorded so that we could enjoy the slurring, stumbling speech Johnny Depp gave there. Depp was on hand to introduce the documentary Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon when he tottered to the microphone, commenting, “That’s the weirdest microphone I ever saw in my life.” (Depp, with disheveled, bleached hair and sunglasses, seems to again be channeling Captain Jack Sparrow.) “It’s one of those nights,” he remarks. Meanwhile, Shep Gordon and the rest of the audience looks on amused.