After enduring mean tweets and harsh reviews at the Cannes Film Festival, Ryan Gosling’s Lost River will miss out on a Stateside theatrical release. Variety reports that Warner Bros. will instead opt to unspool the actor’s directorial debut on home entertainment in April. The movie has a starry cast, including Eva Mendes and Saoirse Ronan, but its plot about a secret underwater town and its obvious homages to countless filmmakers did not sit well with most critics. If you’re now thinking, But isn’t this like kicking a puppy with abs while he’s down? Yes, kind of, and we are still sorry, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.