Emma Watson is going to play Belle in the upcoming live-action version of Beauty and the Beast. That seems lovely, no? She seems extremely capable of playing Belle, since she was great as Hermione, and Hermione and Belle have a lot in common. But there’s no need to stop there: We can populate the entire Beauty and the Beast cast with former Harry Potter folk.
Beast, as played by Neville Longbottom
Neville kind of gets the short shrift in HP, but he grew up hot and deserved better. Beast it is!
Gaston is sort of a Viktor Krum
Nothing against Viktor, but no one at Hogwarts seems like they’d be especially good at expectorating.
Snape could bring a little something to Lumière
Ideally, only Jerry Orbach would ever be Lumière. But that’s not how life works, so let’s Snape it up. We only ever see his mean streak, really, but loosened-up, fun-loving Snape is a Snape we can believe in.
Mrs. Potts could be Professor McGonagall
She’s wise! Sing me a song, Professor McGonagall!
Chip could be made more pathetic if portrayed by Dobby
He dies, but he comes back to life as an innocent yet still vaguely indentured teacup.
Maurice is Hagrid
Doofy, lovable, kinda gets you into scrapes.
Footstool, as brought to you by Ron
RON IS SUCH A FOOTSTOOL.
The Enchanted Mirror is just the Mirror of Erised
See your future and your dead family, all in one magical mirror.
The petals can fall off the Sorting Hat
The glass-dome thing itself is a Hufflepuff.
The only character more persnickety than Cogsworth is Percy
Rules rules rules.
Let Wardrobe and Mrs. Weasley take care of you.
Okay.
Monsieur D’Arque is already Voldemort
That one is easy.
LeFou, Crabble, tomayto, tomahto.
That one is easy, too.
Phillipe is reincarnated Hedwig
Too pure for this world, Hedwig.
Draco Malfoy is Fifi the feather duster.
He’s slender, he’s naughty, and that shaggy hair is pretty feathery.
Harry doesn’t get to be anybody because he has enough already. Sorry, Harry!
