strange bedfellows

Brian Williams Is the Victim of a ‘Transparent and Vile Witch Hunt,’ According to Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen (left) and Brian Williams. Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Joe Corrigan/Getty Images

After the worst week of his career, finally, someone is defending Brian Williams. Unfortunately, it’s the one person you really don’t want to defend you — Charlie Sheen! In a long message posted to his Twitter account, Sheen calls Williams a “true patriot and hero” who is the victim of a “transparent and vile witch hunt erroneously ‘staged’ by hooligans, non coms, cowards and oligarchs.” Williams, of course, has spent the bulk of his career at NBC, while Sheen labored at CBS for eight years, so we can add “lack of brand loyalty” to the actor’s many sins.

The full, oddly punctuated letter is below:

Dear Mr. Williams,
Sorry to bother you during this most surreal, unjust
and mercurial moment in
your awesome life.

First off,
for 24 years of inimitable 
professionalism and top
shelf brilliance,
as a stone cold 
passion driven and 
(PERFECTLY) fact based journalist.

Thank you “squared”
for delivering not only the news on a nightly basis,
to myself and my family.
But for every other person alive,
(with a TV)
who relied 
and still do,
on your poetic, insightful 
and NOBLE sacrifices,
that made our longest nights
and our shortest nights
You good sir, 
are a hero in my
“Entire Library”

you are clearly the victim of 
a transparent and vile
witch hunt!
“staged” by hooligans,
non coms, cowards and
who’s only 
desperate and
hideous goal is to discredit
the genius that they relied 
on for almost 3 decades!

Now and forever you
are a true Patriot and a Hero
of mine 
until the day i leave this 
star crossed imperfect
Rock we call Earth…

Mr W:
hi 5’s
and refuge!
(if you need it!)
I remain humbly
and on 
dangerous standby
at your service….

I am;
the MaSheen….

Charlie Sheen: Brian Williams Is a ‘Patriot’