a compendium

Every Friggin’ Time Dakota Johnson Bites Her Lip in Fifty Shades of Grey

Photo: Universal Pictures

What hath Kristen Stewart wrought? One of the actress’s trademark tics involves biting her lip in the middle of a line, a move she pulled so often during the Twilight franchise that author E.L. James practically made it a plot point in the Twilight-inspired Fifty Shades of Grey. In that erotic novel, every time heroine Anastasia Steele nervously bites her lip, it sends her billionaire paramour Christian Grey into paroxysms of lust, a dynamic now reprised in the movie version of Fifty Shades, where actress Dakota Johnson has the mighty task of making all 11 (we counted!) of Ana’s lip-biting moments seem convincing. When and why did each big-screen bite go down? Here’s our thorough list of every single one.

1. In the movie’s first scene, after an armada of secretarial fembots ushers Anastasia into Christian’s office, Ana picks up a pencil from his table and practically fellates it in front of him, an act that culminates in a coy lip-bite. To be fair, it might just be an effective method of amateur splinter removal.

2. Ana gets drunk, throws up, and is brought to bed by her incipient stalker new boyfriend Christian. The next morning, after Christian takes a playful bite of her breakfast in bed (dude, you’re a billionaire, get your own piece of toast), Ana lunges forward for a kiss. Hilariously, he leaves her hanging, and she bites her lip while contemplating the dis. Ana, go brush your teeth. It’s called morning breath.

3. The movie’s subtext becomes text after Ana gets out of bed, dressed in items of Christian’s choosing. “I would like to bite that lip,” he tells a deeply hung-over Ana, as she stands in front of him wearing a blouse that looks like it was cut out of a very fancy towel.

4. Christian and Ana survey his instruments of S&M. “It’s called a flogger,” Christian needlessly explains as Ana walks past a rack full of them; nevertheless, she bites her lip. Maybe, like me, she thought he said “Frogger” and got excited.

5. “Where have you been?” a besotted Christian asks Ana. “Waiting,” replies our virginal heroine, so hungry to get laid that she’s now begun to chew her face off in anticipation.

6. “You’re biting your lip,” Christian tells Ana, before he bites it himself. Does that count as a double-bite?

7. As the two characters prepare to hammer our their dom/sub contract, Christian loosens his tie in the boardroom. The immediately prompts a lip-bite from horny Ana. Slow your roll, girl! Save it for the undoing of the fifth shirt button, at least.

8. During heated boardroom negotiations, Ana bites her lip once more, in case Christian missed it the first time (he did not). Neither character eats the sushi that Christian’s secretaries put out for them, even though that is the thing I would really like to bite into, yum.

9. Christian spanks Ana while confusingly barking, “Is that polite?” These mixed messages obviously warrant a bite.

10. A broody Christian takes Ana into his torture room and says, “You’re biting your lip, and you know what that does to me. Turn around.” Oh shit, it’s gonna go down, you think to yourself. Bye, girl, your ass is gonna be pinker than a Nicki Minaj concert after this! Ana slowly turns around, fearing the worst … and then, in the movie’s most riotous moment, Christian FRENCH-BRAIDS HER HAIR. Talk about a bait and switch! (No, really, talk about them: Does Christian have a bait and a switch on his flogger rack? I didn’t check.) Guys, don’t ever show E.L. James that video of Chris Pratt braiding some girl’s hair, or she’ll die.

11. Christian and Ana wear sad Hanes V-necks as Christian plays sad piano for a long time, and the sad vibes prompt Ana to gnaw on her lower lip for the movie’s final time. Do you think Dakota Johnson ever decided to change it up and was like, “On this take, I’m gonna bite my upper lip!” Go do that in the bathroom mirror, you’ll look like Kenneth Branagh missing a whole row of dentures. Perfect for your next Tinder pic!

Every Single Fifty Shades of Grey Lip Bite