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Help Wanted: Nick Offerman Needs You to Buy His Voice

Nick Offerman and Conan O’Brien have noticed that a lot of manly commercials have been using rip-Offerman voices to sell product. Clearly, this is not okay, so Offerman made his own product — a canister of his genuine voice — to fix this predicament, help sell every other product in the world, and even turn people into bikini-clad money-bathers. “Those men are frauds,” he notes in this infomercial, “and someday they will burn for their crimes.” There’s something all the more terrifying about the wrath of a beardless-slash-stacheless Offerman. SOS.

Nick Offerman Wants You to Buy His Voice