It will probably be a while before we get our first gay superhero onscreen, so the Marvel gods are throwing us a bone: the Captain America: Civil War trailer. Have you watched it? Like, have you really watched it? Those longing glances between Captain America and Bucky? Iron Man as his jilted ex-lover? That’s right, superhero movies, the final bastion of compulsory heterosexuality, may at last be falling to the homosexual agenda. It’s a love triangle, baby, just say yes.
When you see your bae injured.
And he gives you that look.
What is this feeling?
And your friend peeps what’s going on.
You start crying out, “Come to my windowww.”
You’re seeing him everywhere.
Then your ex tries to step in.
Because it’s like a civil war for him on the inside.
But you have to tell him that your heart belongs to another.
Even though he tries to remind you of what you had.
Because the heart wants what it wants.
Although it’s possible that they’re all just friends — not that there’s anything wrong with that.