Ah, to be Diane Keaton. To have starred in such classics as The Godfather and The First Wives’ Club. When you’re someone like Diane Keaton and you go on a press tour, well, the world works a little different than it does for most other stars. You get to bring samples of your new chilled wine brand “The Keaton” on Ellen while you promote Love the Coopers, and then you get to talk about your crushes, and how you’ve considered being a cougar, but haven’t really gotten into yet. The conversation turns, as it does on many a wine-soaked afternoon, to that young Justin Bieber fellow, who, as Ellen points out, has gotten awful fit recently. You admit passing crush for Bieber, and suddenly, as he is wont to do during Ellen’s Bieber Week, Justin emerges from backstage to hug you. It’s shocking. It’s wonderful. He leaves. You return to your iced wine, which has a twist-off cap just how you like it. Ah, what a lovely daytime talk show appearance. Ah, life.