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John Oliver Has the Slacker’s Guide to Faking Your New Year’s Resolutions

John Oliver dropped many truth bombs in 2015, and though Last Week Tonight is currently on hiatus, he hasn’t abandoned his post. He’s briefly returned to lift you out of your New Year slump — which began the second you swore you’d be sober in 2016, but oops — with some advice on those damn resolutions you got peer-pressured into making. Oliver knows you’re already failing. It’s okay, the gym is hard. What does one even wear to such a place? Presenting: the slacker’s guide to resolutions. The secret’s in the loopholes! If you just keep telling yourself that wine, liqueurs, and beer aren’t real alcohol, then no harm done. And if you’ve yet to sip your whiskey straight, hey, we won’t tell. Baby steps, guys.

John Oliver’s Advice for New Year’s Resolutions