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Academy Sues Over Oscars Gift Bags, Says It Has No Affiliation With Vampire Breast-Lifts

87th Annual Academy Awards - Backstage And Audience
You like me! Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images

The Oscars are generally the most wholesome night of the year. Well, okay, at least more wholesome than Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes. And this year, the Academy is pissed about a marketing firm called Distinctive Assets handing out gift bags containing some products of “less-than-wholesome nature.” The Academy actually has no affiliation with the marketing firm, or the gift bags that contain hundreds of thousands of dollars of merchandise, including the three V’s: vapes, vibrators, and vampire breast-lifts (which we imagine are just regular breast-lifts that look terrible in daylight). So on Tuesday, the Academy went to California federal court against Lash Fary, a.k.a. Distinctive Assets. Apparently, Distinctive Assets is not taking any steps to stop wrongfully implying a relationship with the Academy. Which, to be fair, if someone thought you had a relationship with the Oscars, would you be like, “Nah, I don’t even know them”? Didn’t think so.

Academy Awards Sue Over Oscar Gift Bags