Judge Judy Sheindlin has been America’s daytime mother for over 20 years. She’s all tough love: The one who forces you to eat your vegetables and gives you a copy of A Room of One’s Own and tells you never to depend on a man to get you somewhere in life, that it has to be on you, and if you want to have sex with him, that’s okay, but you just have to make sure that you respect you afterwards. Judge Judy was full of such sage advice when she sat down with Ellen DeGeneres, America’s other daytime mother, today. “Women make a terrible mistake, because they usually are so desperate to nest, that they pick on zhlubs and worthless pieces of trash that they pick up in a bar, and then turn around and give them the keys to their car, invite them to move in, give them a credit card, and they’re surprised one day when their car is gone, their credit card is maxed, and they’re alone,” she said. Ellen replies, “That’s why I don’t date men.” Can they adopt us?