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The ‘Day of Ha’ is right around the corner, February 21 – yes the 3rd sunday of February. It’s a time to kick back, relax and be as sedentary as humanly possible. Popular ‘Day of Ha’ activities include lying motionless on the couch, idly licking synthetic neon-orange powder from your fingertips, and laughing at the funny humans that live inside your screen.
At this point you might be asking yourself: how should I spend my ‘Day of Ha?’ Never fear. Here are just a few recommendations to help you optimize your ‘Day of Ha’ experience.
1) Queue up all your comedy favorites.
The ultimate goal of the ‘Day of Ha’ is to spend as much time laughing as you can without accidentally working out your abs. You can do this the old fashion way, by inserting a VHS tape of your favorite comedy program. Or you can do things the easy way and subscribe to Seeso — the streaming service that specializes in making you laugh.
2) Leave your couch as seldom as possible.
Use a catheter or adult diaper to ensure you do not have to make any unnecessary pilgrimages from your couch to the toilet.
3) Indulge in fine cuisine.
Stockpile as much nutritious, life-giving junk food as you can reasonably fit inside of yourself. Possible options include, but are not limited to: potato crisps, tater tots, nachos, personal party pizzas, hot pockets, bagel bites, pizza rolls, beef jerky, kettle corn, gingersnaps, Ho Hos and Twinkies.
4) Invoke the name of the Great Spirit Potato.
Build an effigy of the Spirit Potato. Draw comfort from the spirit potato as you bask in the glowing, warming light of your screens. Allow yourself to become the potato sitting on the couch.
5) We mentioned sign up for Seeso, right?