If voting for Donald Trump is getting shot and voting for Ted Cruz is being poisoned, what’s voting for John Kasich? Getting punched once in the butt? Not even that hard? A fate too kind for us, America. Senator Lindsey Graham, who has the giggly, silly ease of a man who has stared into the face of the void and lived, stopped by The Daily Show last night to explain why he endorsed Ted Cruz over Donald Trump, despite the fact he clearly wishes both men would accidentally tumble into an abandoned mine shaft. “He’s not completely crazy,” Graham reasoned, with a check mark flourish and the kind of smile you see in a horror movie when you realize the inmates have already set fire to the asylum. Well, you heard it here, everyone! Listen to Lindsey Graham and vote “Getting Poisoned” in 2016.
