A Few Poems About How Ridiculously Ripped Zac Efron Is Right Now

Zac Efron, presumably, has all the the muscles of every other human, but over time, they have gotten larger and more defined than your average human. Here are a few haikus that capture our emotions about the new state of things.

Zac Efron’s muscles
Are larger than average.
This seems worth noting.

A tire-lifting 
Match with the Rock on the set
Of Baywatch. Damn, son.

Dirty Grandpa with
De Niro. The tank reads, “Stop
Staring at my tits.”

Not quite as buff for
Neighbors 2, but still, he’s built.
Rose Byrne is funny.

Why this exercise?
Why target these muscles now?
Why are we all here?

Hope, Dickinson said,
Is a thing with feathers. Or
Maybe backs and bis.

Zac Efron Is Ridiculously Ripped Now