“If there really were Avengers, I would be Team Iron Man. I would. I mean, who wouldn’t?” These were the words uttered by one Chris Evans, who plays the titular Captain America in Captain America: Civil War. What is Chris Evans’s reasoning, besides a depraved need to betray all his character holds dear? “There would have to be some sort of responsibility,” he said, referring to Iron Man’s insistence on superhero regulation, which drives the plot of Civil War. “You have to answer to somebody. You can’t just let this group of vigilantes answer to themselves.” Captain America, on the other hand, is the Rand Paul of the group — opposed to government intervention, annoyingly well-built, a better option than most Republican presidential candidates. The guy was born before World War II, after all — his idea of radical leftism is FDR.
You beautiful traitor. Photo: Jesse Grant/Getty Images