Well, RHOA lovers, that’s it! Season eight is in the can and, I have to admit, I’m a little sad. I was rather hesitant that Housewives still had anything left in the tank, but it surprised me. Both NeNe and Sheree returned with some amazing one-liners, Kim Fields grew on me (and though I doubt she’ll be back, she represented herself nicely), and there was a good amount of drama, including that cringeworthy fight surrounding Kim’s husband, Chris. All in all, I had a good time watching. Let’s get into the final episode of the season, shall we?
We begin with NeNe joining the ladies on the couch, looking like a frosty mug of hot chocolate you’d get at a middle-school hockey game. It is a ridiculous outfit and I would like to be baptized in it. She tells Andy Cohen that she needed time away from the craziness of the show, but she came back because RHOA is her baby. She’s an OG and could not let the other ladies run away with the show. The other women, including Kandi, roll their eyes, but NeNe is right. She is the biggest star and funniest person to come out of the show by far. It probably didn’t hurt NeNe to cash some Bravo checks while she’s out looking for her next TV role.
After Kandi leaves the couch to pump her boobs, we see a video about Sheree and NeNe’s up-and-down relationship. Mostly, it’s just the ladies cussing and dissing each other, flashing their insanely white teeth, and using the word “bitch” a lot. When the video ends, they’re like, “We’re friends.”
Is that what friendship is? The real-life equivalent of a nasty YouTube comment? I guess so, but it also seems like they put their differences aside, which is nice. Sure, they’re both still messy, but they do seem new and improved. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about Cynthia, who hella flip-flopped on her relationship with Kenya once NeNe got back in the picture. Sigh. I really want to like Cyn, but then she does trifling stuff like this and I’m like, “Maybe you’re the worst person on the show?” Kenya may be a troublemaker and Porsha clearly has rage issues, but Cyn always tries to come off like she’s the peacemaker, the calm one, the one who is fair, then just switches her allegiances based on who is sitting next to her. That is some trash that belongs in high school and on Big Brother. Anyway, Cyn says for once and for all that she and Kenya are close friends, but not best friends — even though at Lake Lanier, she said they were besties. Whatever, girl. I’m tired of this drama and the dumb mess with you and Peter. Just fix your life, boo, and stop with the nonsense, a.k.a. being NeNe’s lackey. Moving on.
Like I predicted weeks ago, Kandi and Phaedra are pretty much over. They are STILL talking about the money issue with Todd, which … why?! Phaedra just needs to admit that she gets funny with money and she doesn’t handle things professionally. I mean, I have to agree with Todd here. Yes, Phae was and is going through a tough time with Apollo, but for her to act like that means she couldn’t pay him? I don’t buy it. Did she have time to go to the store to buy hammocks, bathing suits, and wig glue? Yes. That means she had plenty of time to give Todd checks that wouldn’t bounce, so he could get paid for this garbage workout video that will never see the light of day. Anyway, Todd curses Phaedra out during the reunion, which I’m kind of okay with, and she and Kandi are done. Especially after Kandi admits that she thought Phaedra called the Feds on her. Ouch. At least Phaedra still has Porsha.
Sigh. Y’all know how I feel about Porsha. She is a hot mess and I think she should be off the show. She’s not married, not even in a relationship, and she’s always snatching wigs like she’s fighting for a 40” TV during a Black Friday sale. I’m happy she has that radio job and that she’s going to anger management, but she’s still not genuinely taking responsibility for her violence. Instead, she says she feels like she’s under pressure on the show. OH SHUT UP! All she has to do is look hot, drink free booze, and eat chicken kabobs in Jamaica. That’s not pressure; that’s a gahtdamn vacation. Take your #FirstWorldProblems and get out my face with this “woe is me” garbage. In closing, Porsha is always complaining, so I’m like:
Let’s get to the biggest problem I have with RHOA: the ignorant gay comments the ladies make all the time. This leads to my favorite moment of the entire season, in which Andy finally says this ugly mess about Chris’ sexuality is nothing but gay bashing. THANK YOU! I have to say that Andy has always tried to be neutral about the shenanigans, but I could see the pain on his face as all the ladies were going back and forth about the rumors and making snide comments about Chris’s masculinity. I really do hope that Andy calling out everyone’s behavior (except for Cynthia, and Kandi, who didn’t participate in the ugliness) will make the ladies not only think about what they say in the future, but also stop treating homosexuality as a negative. It’s not. That’s why I was so happy that the discussion ended with Chris speaking directly to his gay and lesbian friends, apologizing on behalf of the women for the pain this whole scenario caused. Three cheers to Andy and Chris.
My second favorite moment of this episode? When NeNe was criticizing Porsha for being violent all the time and Porsha goes, “But didn’t you choke someone?” And NeNe says, “If I did, I was smart enough not to do it on camera.”
L to the O to the L. NeNe is the MVP of this season and the MVP of my life. Sorry, mom and dad, but y’all didn’t teach me how to choke a heaux on the down-low. Anyway, I had a blast recapping this season and thanks to all Vulture peeps who read them. Love you!
Alrighty, what did you think of the reunion and the season overall? Do you want Kim to come back? Anyone else sick of Porsha?