It’s all happening, folks. Tonight, dreams will be made and hearts will be broken.
The reckoning begins with a kicky little group rendition of “Don’t You Worry Child” from Team Pharrell. It is mostly unremarkable, but I do like the choral part at the end. I also like Hannah Huston’s sassy pants ensemble.
Then, Pharrell takes a moment to recap why everyone on his team is great, while offering a prime opportunity for us to all remind ourselves who is on this show. Comeback artiste Daniel Passino is great because “you can really feel his ambition in his performance.” On the other hand, Caity Peters is great because she hit a bunch of notes. Then again, Moushumi is “locking into what she wants to do,” which is to not be a cardiologist. Complicating matters further is Emily Keener, who is “just meant to enrapture us all.” Lacy Mandigo, meanwhile, was “made to sing rock and roll,” but then Hannah Huston “is a cannon.”
After a long buildup, Carson Daly reveals America’s picks. It is very stressful. Emily Keener looks like she is going to die. Oh, I am worried, child!
And America chose — wait for it — wait for it — Hannah Huston! And — keep waiting for it — comeback kid Daniel Passino! Luckily, Pharrell uses his coach powers to save otherworldly unicorn Emily Keener, so she is allowed to live after all. I feel great about all of this. Good job, Pharrell and America!
Did you know The Voice’s season-one winner, Javier Colon, has a new album coming out? Neither did I! Anyway, it is called Gravity, and he is here to tell us all about it. Then last season’s winner, Jordan Smith, comes out and sings a song. I would totally vote for him.
I am not proud. I will come out and say it: Team Blake has by far the best group number of the night with “Hey Brother.” Everyone is really excellent in this, especially Adam Wakefield. I think he and his hat have a bright future together.
There are no surprises on Blake’s team. America voted to save Adam and Mary Sarah, and then Blake uses his save on Paxton Ingram, because of his entertaining charisma. This means it’s the end of the road for Justin Whisnant, Joe Maye, and Katie Basden. Personally, I had developed a real soft spot for Katie Basden, although I also kept forgetting she was there.
Christina’s team is definitely the strongest of the bunch, but their group performance of “Stars” (not the one from Les Miz, though that would have been something) is kind of boring. Apparently the song was suggested by America. If you ever need to pick a song for something, I would advocate leaving America out of it.
Oh, this one’s a doozy! There are just too many good people on Christina’s team. She has Alisan and Bryan and Tamar! And Ryan, the melodic robot! And Kata! And Nick! (To be honest, I’m still kind of confused about Nick. Please explain?)
Obviously, America voted to save Alisan Porter, and she does an okay job acting surprised about it, probably due to her extensive experience as a child star. America also voted to save … Nick Hagelin. What about Bryan? What about Tamar? Sometimes, I feel like a stranger in a strange land.
Bryan looks terrified and I am terrified for him, but Christina does the right thing and saves him and then we all get to breathe again. I feel awful about Tamar. At least she still has Tyler Perry.
For his team anthem, Adam has chosen “Your Song.” Contrary to the promise of the title, I feel strongly that it is not my song. Based on this performance, I would argue that it is not any of their songs, either.
Friends, I thought I knew how this one was going to play out, but oh-ho-ho, how wrong I was. It is humbling, in a way. America’s first pick is Shalyah Fearing, as we all knew it would be. But then America also saved Laith Al-Saadi! Adam seems stunned. I certainly did not see this coming, but I will tell you this: Tonight, I am proud to be an American. There is no time for a suspenseful drumroll, on account of all the other suspenseful drumrolls we have had already, so Adam announces his decision with relatively little fanfare: Owen Danoff lives to fight another day! I am thrilled about everything that has just happened. Presumably, Nate, Caroline, and Brian Nhira are less thrilled, because they’re all going home.
And so it is written! Next week, we will all enter a new chapter of our lives together. In the meantime, how is everybody feeling about the judgment of America?