Channing Tatum and Matt Bomer? Matt Damon and Michael Douglas? Great, now that we have the tiger casting out of the way, who on God’s glittery gold Earth is going to play magician duo Siegfried and/or Roy in their upcoming biopic? The Physician director Philipp Stölzl and screenwriter Jan Berger have taken up the movie’s heavily bejeweled mantel. “The image of Siegfried and Roy floating down onto the stage in their fantastical outfits, landing amidst a pack of snow-white tigers, has been burned into my mind since I was a boy,” Stölzl told The Hollywood Reporter in a fantastic statement. “It was truly out of this world. Being able to tell the story of Siegfried and Roy, covering all their successes, desires and dreams, is a wonderful gift that comes with a special set of challenges for me as a director.” Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn’s big cat show ran at Las Vegas’ Mirage Resort and Casino from 1990 to 2003 for an estimated audience of 25 million, and ended only when Horn was attacked and injured onstage by a white tiger named Mantecore; everyone mentioned in this sentence can and should be portrayed by a slightly different Ben Stiller character.