conspiracy theories

So, How Do You Think Tommen’s Going to Die on Game of Thrones?

RIP. Photo-Illustration: Maya Robinson and Photos by HBO

My mother is not your typical Game of Thrones fan. She only started watching this year, jumping right in at season six, episode two, and because of this, she’s got a lot of questions. Mostly “Who’s that guy?” but also “Why’s she so mad?” and “Can you stop talking? I’m trying to watch the show.” But one question she asked stuck out more than most: “The wussy kid, someone’s going to kill him, right?”

My mom is not the kind of person who just throws around the word “wuss” — she raised a blogger, for goodness’ sake — but in this case, I knew exactly who she was talking about: King Tommen Baratheon, first of his name, the biggest wuss in Westeros. Sweet kid, though, which is why it’s a little bit sad that my mom was right. Tommen is a goner. Remember the prophecy that told Cersei all her children would die before she did? Joffrey and Myrcella have already shuffled off this mortal coil, and it’s only a matter of time before their baby brother joins them. Now that we’re entering the home stretch of the current season, the deadliest time of year for Game of Thrones characters, it’s time for us to all start placing our bets: Who or what is going to kill Tommen?

Daenerys and/or a dragon
As Bran’s vision in episode six reminded us, there are currently large caches of wildfire stored underneath King’s Landing, courtesy of the Mad King. If Daenerys invades the city, the tiniest, stray dragon’s breath could make the entire city go up in flames, which would be very bad news indeed for whoever’s currently sitting on the Iron Throne. Fortunately for T-dawg, Daenerys still doesn’t seem to be in any great rush to head to Westeros, so he might be safe until season seven at least.

Zombie-Gregor (a.k.a. “The Mountain”)
Tommen’s recent alliance with the High Sparrow has put him at cross purposes with his mother. It’s highly unlikely that Cersei would order her undead henchman to kill her only living child outright, but Gregor’s history with royal kids is not a pretty one. Maybe, as one Redditor has theorized, Gregor will lash out at poor Tommen in a misplaced attempt to protect Cersei?

Queen Marge is clearly up to something. I don’t buy for a second that she’s sincerely converted to the Sparrows’ cause; it seems way more likely her grand union of the crown and the Faith is some ploy that we’ll have to wait to see play out. Tommen’s been a useful puppet for her schemes so far, but what happens when he stops being useful? Hmmm.

The Sparrows
Similarly, the High Sparrow is totally fine with Tommen now, but what happens if the boy king ever finds his backbone and decides he doesn’t want to subsume all his political authority to a religious institution? He’d be dunzo for sure.

Imagine the dramatic irony: Tyrion flees Westeros after being falsely convicted of killing the nephew he hates, then returns and winds up killing the nephew he actually likes. The only problem is, Cersei’s story line seems to be heading toward a similar twist, and I can’t see the show using both of them.

The Faceless Men
The crown is heavily in debt to the Iron Bank of Braavos, which has been known to take a … proactive role in removing rulers who don’t pay them back. Could this mean hiring one of the assassins who live just a convenient canal-ride away? A man says, “Maybe.”

Jorah Mormont’s greyscale has to pay off somehow, and what’s more dramatic than a massive epidemic that ends up turning the king of Westeros to stone? Alright, dragons and White Walkers are more dramatic, yes, but a greyscale outbreak would be right up there. It would maybe be in the top … five most dramatic things to ever happen of Game of Thrones. Definitely top ten. Okay, top 20.

The Sand Snakes
The editing in the season-six premiere was super confusing, but, yes, the boat on which two of the Sand Snakes plunged a spear through Prince Trystane’s head was the same one that took Jaime back to King’s Landing. We haven’t heard a peep from Obara and Nymeria since then; either the show has decided to pretend that Dorne never happened, or these two have been wandering the capital all this time, waiting for the perfect moment to make a dramatic reappearance. Sure, the Sand Snakes don’t exactly have a reason to kill Tommen, but a lack of clear motivation has never stopped them before.

Ser Pounce
You never know.

How’s Tommen Going to Die on Game of Thrones?