It takes a truly diabolical villain hellbent on world destruction to get a couple of heroes like Jon Stewart and Colbert Report–era Stephen Colbert to come out of retirement. Hey, have you heard the Republican National Convention started last night and Donald Trump’s their guy? Yeah, that guy. “The guy who looks like he’s wearing a Donald Trump costume???” Not even our old pal Stewart can believe the horror. You know who believes it even less? Captain America, er, our other dormant old pal, Colbert’s Republican alter-ego, who, coincidentally, has also been living out his golden years in a cabin brewing chai kombucha and urine with Stewart, thinking he left America safe in Jeb Bush’s hands. Ho boy, were they both so wrong. Stewart, Colbert — assemble!