Like it or not, we are in the era of Jonah Hill, serious actor. This is according to media profiles of Jonah Hill, which would have you believe that his Oscar-nominated work in Moneyball and The Wolf of Wall Street gives us a glimpse of his great dramatic depth (and also his prosthetic penis, though that often goes unmentioned). In the New York Times, Hill plays ping-pong, discusses how he watches movies he loves over and over again — right now, he’s internalizing Behind the Candelabra — and contemplates life in the spotlight. Then, as the interview winds to a close, he walks past a man performing Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” and accidentally interrupts his performance, a snafu he quickly settles with the performer. “I want it on the record that he just looked me in the eye and promised me never to hurt me,” Hill says at the end of the interview. “It’s documented. If that man ever, ever breaks my heart or deserts me, there will be legal repercussions.” Jonah, don’t you know that if you give a quote that good it’ll throw off the balance of your profile?
Jonah Hill is never gonna let you down.