An Otzi the Iceman Biopic Cometh

Photo: Petrified Collection/Getty Images

It’ll be like The Mummy, with less shirtlessness and more slowly turning into human jerky. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Otzi the Iceman, a 5,300-year-old Austrian mummy unearthed in 1991, will finally get his turn on the silver screen in a new biopic from director Felix Randau. German actor Jurgen Vogel will star as the Copper Age corpse, who scientists suspect died of head trauma, leading some to suggest he was murdered. This is ostensibly why the film, which covers Otzi’s last days alive, is called Revenge – The Story of Iceman. Well, it’s true what they say: Revenge is a dish best served cold. They also say the best revenge is living well, but don’t tell Otzi that or he’ll feel terrible.