Hmm, what are you hiding under those wispy hair plugs, Donald Trump? Recently unearthed information about the 2011 Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump continues to point out the Republican presidential nominee’s chief concern: his money. After one Comedy Central writer wrote that “any joke that suggests Trump is not actually as wealthy as he claims to be” was off-limits, the Huffington Post reports that, similarly, jokes about Trump’s bankruptcies were also prohibited. In fact, during the editing process, Trump would rewrite jokes so that he appeared to have more money.
For instance, this joke, “What’s the difference between a wet raccoon and Donald Trump’s hair? A wet raccoon doesn’t have $2 billion” became a negotiation process. Jeff Ross told Jimmy Kimmel that Trump at first asked the figure to be changed to “$10 billion” until they eventually settled on $7 billion. Trump also wanted a joke that he lives in a “25,000-square-foot penthouse atop my solid-gold space station” changed to 50,000-square-feet. Trump also wanted another line that read, “I’m sorry, I must go now and make a million dollars somewhere else,” changed to “a billion dollars.”
And all the grammatical errors you hear during the presidential debates also seem to hold true when Trump is writing. Here’s one joke that Trump inserted into the draft himself:
Their all losers and I like associating with loser because it makes me feel even better about myself.
And some other little mandates? He only wanted to be referred to as “Mr. Trump,” and he wanted the woman who took his coat when he arrived onstage at the roast moved away from him, the stage manager Robert Ferkle recalled. “In other words, she was not pretty enough.”
Trump: At least as terrible as you think he is!
