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Joe Jonas Discusses His Penis Size, Losing His Virginity, and His Brother’s Nipples in a Frighteningly Thorough Reddit AMA

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Joe Jonas, Redditor. Photo: D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Advertising Week New York

Your former Camp Rock idol Joe Jonas is all grown up now, and boy, oh boy, does he have some thoughts to share. Jonas, who’s currently performing with his band DNCE, sat himself down for a Reddit Ask Me Anything, seemingly without a publicist nearby to tell him that he could really only answer questions that made him look good. So in addition the standard plugs for his music, Joe happily opined about his penis, losing his virginity, Ken Bone, and, of course, his brother Nick.

On losing his virginity to actress and model Ashley Greene:

I lost my virginity to this girl named Ashley. You can probably just Google it. It’s pretty easy to figure out. I dated a girl named Ashley, so just Google it to figure out which Ashley that is. It’s quite the great story because I didn’t have any condoms, so I went to our drummer, Jack’s room, who was my roommate at the time and I demolished his room looking for them. Found them underneath his underwear drawer. When he came home, he thought somebody broke into his room because his whole room was demolished because I was in dire need. Needed to happen then and now. Safety first, kids.

On whether he has the largest penis of the Jonas brothers (please don’t ask why somebody asked this question):

I like to think so. Although, it’s not often that I’m in a locker room or shower with my brothers, so I couldn’t really tell you. But, I’d like the Internet to believe that I’m still killin’ it.

On his man crushes:

I have a few. One being Daniel Craig. I have had multiple Daniel Craig birthday cakes in my life. One was a photo of him coming out of the water from Casino Royale and they made it into a cake. Obviously, Matthew McConaughey is one, too. I think he’s the man. So, between those two, there’s a lot of man crushing going on.

Also, I’m pretty into this guy, Ken Bone, recently, tbh. He kind of takes top of the list for me. Depending on who he votes for.

C’mon Ken, we’re believing in you. Don’t let us down!

On how the Jonas Brothers broke up, and whether it was related to Joe having a drug addiction, seeing a therapist, or not being on speaking terms with his siblings (people on Reddit are nosy, and specific):

I think that probably half of those questions are true. I was seeing a therapist and I wasn’t on speaking terms with my brothers. When it happened, we were focussing on going on another tour and we had plans to hit the road and do what we had been doing for a while. Nick brought it to the table that he wanted to focus on different things, like acting and doing music on his own. At first, it was really shocking to me because it was kind of all I had known was the Jonas Brothers, forever. So, I was pretty mad and confused because, I was like, I’ve been putting so much time and effort into this for so long and now I just have to stop and figure out what’s next. And maybe I was a little envious of Nick because I knew that he already had kind of a leg up and had plans to work on music already and he was creating and producing. So, I was probably mad at him, too. I remember kind of losing it a little bit and I didn’t speak to anybody. I closed myself off and we cancelled the tour and didn’t really know what was going on. We were honestly trying to figure out if it was the right decision to call it off or do a final tour or final goodbye, but I think, for all of us, we did it for ten years and it was a lot of time doing one thing. After taking some time away, I realized that maybe I could start to travel and do some other stuff. I really took a long time to figure it out and I wasn’t even creating. I just traveled and tried to really find myself because I was doing this Jonas Brothers thing for so damn long. Now, I think that I’m really glad I took so much time away because I’m able to find myself and create music that I’m proud of. I started a little bit of acting and opened a restaurant. I was trying to see if maybe there was a different career path that I would go into. Ultimately, I realized that I really enjoy the music stuff, so that’s really where I found home.

On the questions about the drug addiction. That was all false. That probably would have made me look really cool, but unfortunately that wasn’t real.

On the most bizarre experience in his life, which involves Bono and Colin Farrell:

I’ve had a few pretty bizarre moments. There was one time that I was in Toronto and I was hanging out with my buddy John and we were invited to a U2 concert. We had an early morning the next day, but we were like we should probably go. Then somebody came up from Bono’s PR, and they were like we would like you to invite to Bono’s after party, and we were like that’s not real, there’s no way he wants us to come to an afterparty. But we were like you know what, just in case it’s actually his invite we should just go for a few minutes and check it out, so we went to the party and we were waiting for probably about 30 minutes and we were starting to get ready to leave, I had like one or two drinks and it was time to get rolling, and we were like we’re gonna wait for like five minutes, and surely five minutes late just like out of a movie, the doors open, it was as if it was a smoke machine, and Bono walks in, he was wearing jeans and a jean shirt buttons down to his belly button. He struts his way in and is doing the pointing at people and just being a total badass, sits down with us for probably the next 4 hours and we have the most amazing conversation, and inspiring, and we talk about him, I asked him for advice for writing songs and he’s like don’t be afraid to offend people, I have countries I’m not allowed back into for things I said, you have to really say it from your heart because it’s what’s important. It was such an incredible night. And I remember Colin Farrell was there as well, and I guess Colin Farrell sent one of the jerseys of a rival team at the time that Bono was to him, and he wrote something on the jersey to be like screw your team cause they have different teams, and Bono was so mad and was like “where is that bastard?!” and looking for him around the party to fight him, so definitely a memorable night.

On living with his brother Nick, which sounds incredibly lonely:

Living with my brother Nick is great because it is actually like living alone. We decided to move in together because he was out of a lease and wanted to find a new place and he convinced me by saying, “You’re really bored with your place, right?” and I was like… I guess. So, I moved out and then he forgot to tell me his lease wasn’t up for six months, so I was without a house for a little while. Just floating around. Then we found a place in the valley of California and it’s nice because he’s been traveling and I’m home alone all the time. I get this nice sized house, just chilling. Also, when he comes into town, he came into town this past weekend, our housekeeper put a bunch of his new clothes in my closet and he left town to go finish filming Jumanji, so I don’t have to go shopping. I just have a bunch of Nick’s free new clothes now.

On Nick’s nipples, which are apparently weirdly large:

Nick’s nipples are not as big as they may appear. It did take multiple surgeries to get them down to a normal size. I think it was like 30-40 surgeries to just get them to a little quarter shape.

RIP Harambe.

P.S. Dicks out for Harambe.

Joe Jonas is just your average Redditor after all.

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