We may have had to survive the reptile room, climb up the miserable mill, and trek through the vile village to get here, but the first teaser for Netflix’s upcoming adaptation of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events has finally debuted. Neither the Baudelaire orphans nor the gangling guardian Count Olaf are anywhere to be found, with the mysterious Lemony Snicket and his creepy charisma instead front and center to hype up the series. He implores us not to watch his televised tales in fear of the cruelty and whimsy to come — classic Lemony! — but let’s be real, we’ll be bingeing it all on opening night. The series will premiere on Netflix on January 13 — oh yes, that’s Friday the 13th, of course.