eyes up here

Dear Moviegoers: Keep That Phone Tucked in Your Pocket Because Warren Beatty Is Literally Watching You

AFI FEST 2016 Presented By Audi - Opening Night - Premiere Of 20th Century Fox's
Photo: Gregg DeGuire/WireImage/Getty Images

If ever you find yourself in a darkened movie theater, immersed in a cinematic experience when — buzz, buzz — look at that, your phone vibrates from your pocket and the not checking, the not knowing, is gnawing at your very sanity, well, consider this: Warren Beatty is (probably) watching you. A new GQ profile on the enigmatic legend recounts a press screening of Beatty’s Rules Don’t Apply that is sure to chill the movie texters among you to the bone. Apparently, while a bunch of naive journalists thought they were taking in Beatty’s latest work in solitude, “He’s been watching us watch him. So intently has he monitored our movements that, after the credits roll, he will call out a Variety writer for checking his iPhone during the film.” And if you cross him, Beatty won’t let you claw your way out of that hole in the ground, either. At the screening, Beatty then sounded off the writer’s phone security code as evidence, demanding, “What do these four numbers mean to you?” Nothing, they mean nothing, because nothing means anything once Big Brother Warren Beatty has so thoroughly marked you as filth. Much like Santa Claus, Warren Beatty knows if you’ve been bad or good, so, come on man! Leave your phone alone for like two freaking hours, for goodness sake.

Dear Moviegoers, Warren Beatty Is Watching You